


GUILT

by Lost_In_Translation (Liarian)



Category: Warcraft (2016), Warcraft - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-08-19 04:42:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 23,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20203891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liarian/pseuds/Lost_In_Translation
Summary: Anduin Lothar has lost his north. Taria in her despair will ask Khadgar for help. What's the worst that can happen when an overly stubborn Commander does not want to recognize that he needs help?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [CULPA](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20203750) by [Liarian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liarian/pseuds/Liarian). 

> Hi there! This is a translation of my work "CULPA". As you can imagine, my mother's tongue isn't english and I highly recommend you to read it in spanish if you can understand it.
> 
> The spanish version it's completed and I'll post it when I'll finish the english version of each chapter.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Anduin had never been the biggest fan of Winter’s Veil but never before the glow of the lights had seemed so offensive. His twinkling dyed the streets of Stormwind in shades of blue, gold, green and red. The city squares were dressed with dozens of fir trees. Taria had brought them from Kharanos trying to recreate a non-existent winter in the typical mild weather of Elwynn Forest. The Trade District boiled with people laughing, shouting and singing. It was as if everyone had forgotten they were at war. Joy seemed to follow him everywhere. In The Gilded Rose the rounds didn’t stop and beer ran around the tables at plenty. Anduin just wanted a quiet corner to get drunk in peace but it was impossible to escape so much revelry. The empty glass between his fingers reminded him why did he put up with that torture.

The thick bottom of the glass banged with a dry blow against the bar’s wood getting the bartender’s notice. Anduin saw him take a deep breath before standing before him with a forced smile. The kid shouldn't be much older than Callan. Someone asked for a toast again and the replies multiplied with good wishes for the new year. It seemed like no one remembered that it had not been a month since Llane had been buried. It hadn't been a month since a traitor had stabbed him in the back.

“I need something stronger if I have to endure more of this bullshit.” Anduin couldn’t understand why he loved her even now.

"Sir," the kid brought himself closer and filled the glass again, "maybe you should leave it for today."

Anduin swung it, wiped the moisture from his lips and with a coarse look asked for another Bourbon. 

“Why don't you go home.” The boy wiped the smile from his face.

Anduin couldn't help laughing. Home, said the kid! As if he had a home to return to. All he had now was four walls to gloat over in his failures. Some regulars began to look at him. They could go fuck themselves for all he cared if he was spoiling their night. They didn’t deserve to forget all their losses. Callan was dead. Callan's death had taken away what little he still had left. The children were supposed to survive their parents but not even in that Anduin had been able to be a good father. Everyone he cared about were dying around him while he was still wasting space.

“Did you know? I blamed Callan for his mother’s death all his life. I don’t have enough fingers to count how many times I wished for him to die just to get Cally back. My precious Cally... I wasn’t able to love my son as he deserved” He wasn’t sure why he was telling the kid that “I don’t know if he really wanted to be a soldier or if he had fallen in love. There were more important things going on and I thought that we would have time but my son is dead” Anduin rose towering the kid and banged the glass bottom against the board without measuring his strength “so pour out that fucking drink.”

“Hey, arrogant shit”  A hand took him by the shoulder and he stumbled against the legs of the stool. In the tavern, everyone went silent. People were staring at the ruckus “Calm down.”

"I wasn't talking with you." Anduin pushed the big man “I only want a drink. How difficult is it?” He sat down again to drink in peace but the man seemed to have other ideas.

"Don't do it," he spat threatening when he felt the big man's hand on his shoulder. Anduin bent down to gain the little space he needed to turn on himself and land his first blow in the pit of the big man’s stomach. The next one went to his nose bursting it.

"Fuck!" The big man shouted. His nose was bleeding like a pig. Another man tried to jump in when the innkeeper put a stop to the fight.

"What's going on here?" The innkeeper frowned. "You two, out!" He pointed at the big man and his friend. He wasn’t too happy with Anduin either. “You can pay the bill and leave or I can throw you out. I don't care who you are. What's it gonna be?”

Anduin rose and stumbled with his own two feet. He straightened up trying to regain some dignity and left some gold coins on the board. He spat on the ground before he began to parade through sneering glances.

Anduin found himself in the middle of the streets of Stormwind hours before midnight. The icy wind hit his cheeks and the low temperatures began to squeeze his bladder. The main square was crowded despite the darkness and cold. People were singing and dancing while the children were running around the giant fir tree dressed with golden garlands.

Suddenly all his anger and bitterness turned to hate. Until that moment he didn’t know that humankind could hate with such passion. He hated everyone. It was a visceral hatred that clouded any reason. He had sacrificed everything for them but they laughed carelessly while life did nothing but snatch all that mattered to him. The tree with its twinkling lights was an insult to the good men that had died for Stormwind. His bladder kept demanding attention and the fir kept laughing at him. It was a petty revenge, but he didn’t care. He put his pants down. Everybody needed to know what the Lion thought about them and their happiness. His pants were still down when he turned to the crowd. He laughed at the disbelief that he could see in their faces and shouted “What are you looking at?”

Anduin knew the two guards who had been rewarded with the humiliating task of saving their Commander. His sister played dirty. Karos approached him while one of the kids who had served with him during the first Orc invasion tried to disperse the people gathered around him. He was a good kid. He couldn’t remember his name but he had been withdrawn from service when a badly given ax had left him crippled. He could count himself among the lucky ones.

"Commander" Karos whispered "why don't you come with us?"

"Lieutenant" Anduin hugged him and laughed "Taria shouldn't have sent you. As everybody keeps reminding me, it's Winter’s Veil. All these people don’t understand what we have seen… They live happily but I piss in their happyness” he shouted pointing the crowd.

"Lothar" Karos shushed him while he tried to pull Anduin’s pants up "Come on Commander, let's go."

Anduin followed them through Stormwind streets until they got to the Keep. He was dragging his feet and laughing every time he thought about the puddle of piss at the foot of the tree. Llane would have called it poetic justice.

The icy water woke him. He shook the water off like a dog trying to remember where he was. His head was hammering and he seemed to have needles sticking behind his corneas. He recognized the bars of the cells in the dungeons.

"Ugh" he whined as the light of a torch sharpened his headache even more.

“What kind of show do you think you gave last night?” Taria watched him as perfect as ever from the other side of the bars. “It was shameful, Anduin. The Lion of Azeroth is the only thing that still gives our people hope and what were you doing?” Her gaze could have withered him right there.

"How can you stand it?" Anduin closed his eyes to see no more the reproach on Taria's face. He didn't bother to move from the soggy ground. There was nothing to do for his muddy pants and it would be better to burn all his clothes as soon as he left the dungeon.

“How can I do what? Live?” Taria snapped “I have two children and a city to rule! But sometimes I wonder if you care for the living. Anduin, you're my brother but I'm not going to let us sink with you. Light knows that we have lost too much but after last night you leave me with no choice. You are relieved from your position.”

“What? No! You can't do this to me! ”Anduin stood up, aware of the pitiful look he was offering with strands of straw tangled in his hair and reeking of sweat.

"I can do it and I’ve done it." Taria looked tough. "You seem to forget that before your sister I am your Queen."

"Taria!" Anduin threw himself against the bars and began to shake them. “Taria!” He shouted desperately when he saw her walk away leaving the dungeons. "You know you need me! Stormwind needs me! There is no one else nearly as prepared to lead the troops against the orcs as me!”

Taria kept walking steadily until she vanished at the end of the stairs. Anduin kept shouting long after Taria had left him.

Time seemed to pass differently in a cell. Sometimes, it felt as if it was slipping through his fingers. Other times, it seemed to pass very quickly to have it turn itself backwards. Anduin had been convinced that Taria would look for him again but she didn’t. It was Karos who climbed with him those damned stairs. His insides still screamed in despair days later.

Callan's death had been like a storm of anger or like a river winding everything in its path. Anduin felt hate and looked for revenge. He needed to see the end at all costs. It was win or die. Losing his rank had none of that. It only meant shame. Anduin had avoided The Gilded Rose since the disaster that had been Winter’s Veil but it was difficult to forget that he was no longer Commander when the soldiers were everywhere. Sometimes he felt the same as when Cally died. Nothing made sense anymore. He didn’t remember the last time he had been sober since his visit to the dungeons. Goldshire looked like a place as good as any other to languish and find oblivion at the bottom of a bottle. The days passed wrapped in a mist that diluted everything. Anduin was la lion whose claws and fangs had been torn off.

“Karosh!” He tried to get up and give the man a hug “Hash you come to give me back my position?

"For now I'm keeping it for you, Sir." Karos was in charge while Anduin’s suspension was still in force. "We're all eager to have you back."

“Taria wants to ruin my life” He tried to drink from the empty glass and frowned without understanding. “Karosh ... you can understand it. They stare at me. They do not stop looking.”

Anduin leaned his head against his arms and closed his eyes. The wood was cold against his cheeks. Maybe if he fell asleep he wouldn't wake up again.

"They were killed because of me" Anduin raised an arm pointing at the sky.

"We also survived thanks to you." Karos sat next to him and asked for a pint.

Anduin couldn't help but laugh with disbelief. He hadn't even been able to save Callan. They’d been lucky they weren't all dead. If the orcs attacked again. No, not if but when the orcs attacked again, their men deserved their Commander died with them.


	2. Chapter 2

Medivh's death had turned Karazhan into a mausoleum. It’s surroundings had been a beautiful gorge crowned by oak forests not so many months ago but now there was nothing left but gray soil. The few travelers who ventured to the gates of the Tower spoke of strange creatures. The moonlight barely managed to get reflected in a ground where not even the toughest grass could take root.

In the midst of that desolation the days seemed to have no beginning or end. The nights without stars gave way to gray days. Khadgar didn’t remember the last time he had seen sunlight. He lived submerged in a maelstrom of books, scrolls and manuscripts. Karazhan was an never-failing source of knowledge. Khadgar devoured with the craving of a bird of prey anything that could help him understand the fel. It didn’t matter if it was about the world of origin of the orcs, the council of Tirisfal or the primitive origins of witchcraft. Despite his efforts, he seemed no closer to finding out how to close the Dark Portal.

A gryphon’s shriek echoed throughout the gorge. Khadgar left the books scattered in his chaotic order and went to one of the outer terraces. The ground was soaked by the rain that had been falling insistently all morning. The animal was circling around the tower softening its descent. A slight trembling seized his hands thinking that it could be Lothar.

The gryphon landed on its hind legs with his wings still spread out. His feathers were of a greenish-blue tone that contrasted with the golden fur of his lion's features. It was not the same animal in which he had seen Lothar fly countless times.

“Guardian Khadgar” the man bowed.

"Technically, Medivh was the last Guardian." Khadgar sighed when he heard the title. "I'm just the heir of a dusty tower."

"I bring you an urgent letter." The messenger ignored the comment. Khadgar recognized the the Stormwind Lion on the seal. The animal resumed its flight along with its rider raising mud and water from the ground.

Khadgar sat in his study and carefully observed the rubric of the Royal House before breaking the seal. It wasn’t the first time news arrived from Stormwind but it was the first time that the Regent Queen wrote to him personally. Carefully, he took one of his silver letter openers and with it’s help he unrolled the manuscript. The writing was long and elegant. Khadgar started reading.

_ “My dearest Khadgar, _

_ I hope my letter finds you in good spirits. I am writing to you about a situation that has been worrying me for too long. Like you know, my brother has suffered great losses that have plunged him into a situation of stupor that seems to want to consume him. His problems seem to have worsened in recent weeks and I'm afraid of losing him if something doesn't change soon. _

_ In my naiveté, I thought I needed to remove him from his obligations but inactivity has plunged him further into his misery. I am not able to recognize my own brother in the shadow that creeps through the corners trying to find himself at the bottom of a glass. I fear what may happen if he returns to his duties as Commander of the Stormwind Army but I fear that the lack of meaning he finds right now in his own existence leads him to an early grave. _

_ Please, as a sister of a sick soul, I beg you, return to Stormwind. My last hope is that your voice reaches where the rest of us seem to be mute. Khadgar, on numerous occasions you have proven yourself worthy of my friendship and respect. I beg you, accept my request for the affection that unites us. _

_ Your Majesty, _

_ Taria Wrynn, Regent Queen of Stormwind ” _

Khadgar held the letter in his hands for a long time. Lothar's drinking problems were no secret to anyone who had spent ten minutes with the Commander but the mage didn’t understand what the Queen expected him to do. Khadgar was the last person Lothar wanted to hear. He still had the King's funeral stuck in his memory. Lothar hadn't even looked him in the face to accept his condolences. Maybe Khadgar himself was a very painful memory, he didn't know. For the sake of both of them that same day he decided to leave for Karazhan. Khadgar had tried to say goodbye to Lothar his last afternoon in the city. Maybe they weren't exactly friends but they had suffered together too much for their relationship to fall apart in that way. Khadgar waited until the last moment, believing that Lothar would appear but he never did. Going back to Stormwind couldn’t bring him anything good. He knew it was crazy but a part of Khadgar still believed that all that time together meant something for Lothar.

Khadgar let the magic flow through his veins. He could feel the Ley lines that ran through the subsoil feeding his spell. His irises disappeared under the cerulean glow of arcane power. Karazhan vanished around him giving way to the limestone floors with his decorations of bluish borders. The last traces of the spell had barely finished fading away when the guards stationed in the Throne Room surrounded him, drawn swords. The news of his arrival spread between the walls of the castle like gunpowder.

A lean elderly man made his way through the guards and frowned displeased. Khadgar hadn’t feel ashamed of his ragged ashen gray cape and his worn leather boots for a long time. His too long bangs didn’t help much at feeling better about it.

"Guardian" the chamberlain bowed. "Her Majesty Queen Taria Wrynn has requested to see you in her chambers" and without further ado began to walk. Khadgar hurried to follow him.

The chamberlain led him to an ostentatiously decorated room that appeared to be the antechamber of the Queen's chambers. The golden lion, eminent symbol of the city could be found in most of the furniture and even in the tapestries that hung on the walls. The Queen smiled as soon as she saw him and wrapped him in a hug. The gesture caught him totally off guard and he didn’t know what to do.

"I don't think you can imagine how happy it makes me to have you back in Stormwind." The queen broke the hug and smiled again, her eyes shining with emotion. "Mr. Reimer, you can leave us." With a simple gesture she excused the chamberlain.

The woman looked like she had aged in the time they had not seen each other. The white strands that ran along his temples gave her a distinguished touch but the wrinkles around her eyes spoke of bad times. King Wrynn's death had not been easy for anyone but the Queen had lost much more than that.

“How are things at Karazhan? It shouldn’t have been easy to go back after the death of Medivh.” The Queen sat near the tea table and asked him to do the same.

“It's hard to say. Karazhan is peculiar and even without a Guardian someone has to take care of her” Khadgar sat down in front of her and took one of the sweets on the table “We have our misunderstandings and sometimes she can be a bit temperamental.” Khadgar bit the scone and licked his sugar-stained fingers. “Your Majesty, why am I really here? We both know that it isn’t Karazhan that worries you.”

“Anduin” The Queen sighed arranging the wrinkles on her overskirt. “Anduin has the bad habit of acting as if his problems didn’t exist. First the death of Callan. Then Llane, Medivh and Garona's betrayal. It’s been too much”

“And do you want me to convince Lothar of what exactly? He won’t hear anything I have to say” Khadgar leaned to look at her. “Him listening to me? That’s not going to happen”.

“I can force him to listen”

"Oh!" Khadgar laughed. “I would love to see it. But what do you think I can do that you couldn't do yourself? You are his sister, he loves you”

“Tharia!” Lothar knocked on the bedroom door as if the mere mention of his name had summoned him.

Khadgar felt petrified to see him. Lothar’s guise was woesome and he smelled worse than a distillery. Having him close gave Khadgar a headache.

" Sir Lothar" the chamberlain followed the hurricane that was Lothar.

“What’s he doing here?” He aimed his finger at Khadgar with contempt. Khadgar saw the sweat dripping down the warrior’s front glueing the greasy strands of hair to his temples.

"He is here because I asked him to come back" The Queen rose and replied bluntly “I don't need your permission to invite to my city whoever I want.”

"A mage?" Lothar squawked. "All of them are treacheroush ratsh." The Queen shut him up with a slap.

"Khadgar is the only reason we are still alive." There was no sign of Lothar's sister in her tone of voice. “We wouldn’t have had any chance against the orcs without him. I will have his advice as long as the orcs remain a threat. I don’t care what you may think about it”.

It wasn’t the first time Khadgar had found himself in uncomfortable situations but he had never wanted to disappear so badly as in that moment. He couldn't help but dig into his bag looking for the rune of teleportation that would return him to Karazhan. The stone, smooth and perfect, tickled between his fingers. His books at least didn’t want him to merge with the ground.

"I'd better leave you alone." Khadgar tried to withdraw from the contest. “I’ll be”

“Don’t” the Queen took him by the arm while staring at her brother. “Anduin was already leaving. I would love you to update me on your studies and we have not yet had time to discuss it.”

"Of course" Khadgar hesitated.

Lothar spat on the floor and left slamming the door without another word. The dry blow shook the banners hanging on the walls. Khadgar sighed. He knew it was hopeless but he thought that perhaps there was something left to save of their relationship. Knowing didn't make it any less painful. Magic was part of who he was. Breaking his bond with the arcane was like asking him to stop breathing.


	3. Chapter 3

Lothar was unable to move lying in bed on his back. His head was spinning and he was convinced that if he tried to stand up he would throw up. Too many empty bottles filled the floor. Taria was stupid if she thought something good would come out of having a mage in the city. Medivh was supposed to protect them but the Guardian had led the orcs to Azeroth. His magic nearly ended everything. Medivh had saved them. The man. Or at least what was left of him. The magic had taken his son. Why would Khadgar be different?

Anduin turned on himself like he was an arthritic old man and tried to reach out for something to drink. The empty bottles rolled on the ground clinking against each other and moving away from him the only one that still had some alcohol left. He tried to reach it without getting out of bed but it was impossible. He threw himself on the ground slowly and crawled. From there below he could see the tips of Taria's shoes. She was looking at him like he was a worm. Taria reached down and took the bottle that had taken him so much effort to reach.

"Give that back to me" he tried to get up but only managed to sit on the floor.

"You've had enough" Anduin could see her looking the pitiful state of the room. It smelled stale. Anduin was sure that some food was rotting in some corner. No one had cleaned the room for more than a month. Anduin wouldn’t let anyone in.

"You wanted your position as Commander." Taria sighed defeated. "It's yours."

"Why?" Anduin asked suspiciously “Why now?”

“You were right” Taria sat on the bed trying to occupy as little space as possible. “I need you. The Noble Houses are trying to tear apart the Kingdom. They’ll take advantage of my weakness. It's my son's legacy and I can't fight that battle without you. Your reputation is the only thing that keeps them at bay.”

"Hey" Anduin sat and hugged her. "You're not alone, Taria. I’m so sorry.”

"Don't make me lose you too." Her sister's tears soaked the linen of his shirt.

"You won't lose me" he whispered stroking her hair.

Anduin smiled for the first time in months when he heard the screams and the blows of the clash of the swords. Karos was waiting for him in the training square with a calm face.

"Have you come to return my position?" Anduin hugged him and slapped him on the back as soon as he saw him.

"I told you I was just saving it until your return" Karos smiled "I'm glad to see you, Sir."

“I'm glad to be back.”

The men chanted his name while Anduin greeted them all. There were many new faces but he was glad to see most of those who had survived the war with the orcs. The headache did not leave him alone until he decided to treat it with a swig of whiskey. He felt his muscles stiff after too much idle time. There was something liberating in sweat that smelled of nothing but sweat. He was grateful for the stabs in legs and arms. Anduin saw the mage among the spectators watching the Stormwind Guard training. Anduin knew he was still in the city but until then he had managed to avoid him.

"Any problem?" Karos turned to see what Anduin was looking at. "Oh" he made a slight nod as he tied ends.

"Ignore him, it's not worth it" Anduin frowned unable to follow his own advice.

The day ended in The Lion’s Pride. It was the same place where too many of his days used to end. Rounds were paid and toasts were repeated one after another. Anduin thought how ironic was to celebrate his return with beer and whiskey when was drinking what had left him in ostracism in the first place. Anduin had no idea how the conversation about the mage had come out but he found himself surrounded by people asking stupid questions.

"We don't need him at all" he growled the fourth time someone asked him how strong the mage was.

He couldn’t find any peace even at the inn. The mage was all people were talking about. They called him "Guardian" as if he had some right to that title.

The last days of winter passed in the middle of a fragile normality. The war didn’t seem to have made a dent in Stormwind but the tension could be felt in the air. The lack of news from the south was worrisome. If the orcs managed to control the passage between the Redridge Mountains, Stormwind would be isolated from Ironforge and the weapons of the dwarves. The mage hadn’t missed any of the workouts in the last week and Anduin knew his presence wasn’t a coincidence.

The sun hadn’t yet risen when Anduin stepped out crossing the bridge that separated the Stormwind Castle from the rest of the city. The air still smelled of dawn. In the Dwarven District the forges never went out. The few who were already awake at those odd hours greeted him when they recognized him. Everyone knew that the mage had rented a room in the Golden Keg. Anduin climbed the stairs and called.

The mage looked like he just got out of bed when he finally opened the door. He was rolled up in a blanket and had ink stains on his face.

"Lothar?" He asked rubbing drowsily his eyes. "What”

"We have to talk." Anduin went in without waiting for an invitation. The room was generous, with a spacious bed and a good desk by the window. Anduin leaned on the desk without any consideration for the books and scrolls the mage had been working with.

"Good morning, Khadgar, may I come in?" The mage brayed. "Of course! Go ahead! As if you were at home.”

"I don't have time for your nonsense." Lothar stared at the manuscripts on the table. He recognized the mage's writing in some of them. There were some Dark Portal diagrams and formulas that he couldn’t understand. “Why haven't you gone back to your tower, spell-chucker?”

“A friend asked me for help” the mage replied grinding his teeth.

"Taria should stop meddling." Anduin growled almost spitting the words. "I don't need a callow mage to babysit me. Leave us alone and do us all a favor.” He stared. “Your death will help no one.”

“And how useful will your men be when they die because you are too proud to ask for help?” The mage shouted, raising his arms in despair.

“I don’t need help!” Anduin turned and embedded the mage against the wall grabbing him by the neck of the robe. He was tired of everyone deciding what was best for him.

"Lothar" the arcane power began to swirl in the mage's eyes “R-release me.”

“Or what?” Anduin challenged him. “You have no idea what war means. You don’t know what is to lose your men to an enemy that surpasses you in everything. What do you think you can do for me? Tell me! What difference did it mean to Callan?”

"Lothar," the mage lost his will to continue arguing “your sister cares about you. You still have people who love you. You’ve been ignoring me so far. You can ignore me just a few more days. Do it for the Queen.”

“How many days are we talking about?” Anduin frowned. He didn’t like reminding his sister's tears.

"Let me go with you on your next mission," the mage spoke with resignation in his voice. "Only this time. As soon as we return I will go back to my tower and my books.”

“Only this time” Anduin released the mage. He could endure the presence of the mage a few more days and then he’ll forget the other man forever. Anduin left the room rumbling the wooden walls with a bang without giving the mage time for a reply.


	4. Chapter 4

Three hundred soldiers crossed Stormwind's gates to an unknown fate on the first day of spring. The Lion of Azeroth opened the march with Karos next to him. The banners of the city waved proudly on the beacons that seemed to be saying goodbye. The sun shined against the men’s armor as they marched in formation across Elwynn Forest. It looked like everyone on Stormwind was on the streets to acclaim their champions.

The plains of crops extended from Goldshire to Eastvale Logging Camp and the troops went forward at a good pace. Anduin couldn't help looking around. There were laughter and shouts of euphoria among the troops. The mage rode with them with his eyes on the road. There were too many kids who had never seen a real battle. They didn't know the terror of looking an orc in the eye and knowing that you were neither stronger nor smarter than that huge creature that threatened to crush your skull with a hammer. Some of them couldn’t have turned sixteen yet. Even Callan had been older than most of them the first time he was in a real battle. Anduin drank from his skin and let the taste of bourbon help him exorcise his demons. He needed to be in a good headspace when so many lives depended on him. In his mind, Elwynn's orography and the southern lands were like a chessboard in which his men were nothing but pawns in position to check.

His first stop was Three Corners. The crossing was of vital importance for the city's supply and the communications maintenance with its allies to the north and it meant maintaining the orcs threat in the south. The orcs had left the lands around the Dark Portal and they were establishing new settlements in the Swamp of Sorrows according to reports from IV: 7. Their objective was to blockade their way from Redridge Mountains and attack them from two fronts. It was a desperate plan but they needed a quick victory if the Royal Treasury had to endure the costs of the campaign. Anduin sighed when he saw the mage approach from the last lines of the march riding in his gray mare. It looked like the man had decided to hinder Anduin's efforts to ignore his existence until he could finally get rid of him forever.

“Lothar” the man reached him and greeted Karos with a slight bow before saying “what is the plan?”

Anduin ignored him without answering. It was none of his business.

"I could get ahead with some men. It shouldn't set us back too much." The mage kept talking "It would be easy to go unnoticed and I could teleport us near here again."

"You can’t" Anduin cut him off. He was not going to argue with the mage. They were his men and they were his plans.

"I can’t?" The mage looked at him in disbelief “But we can't miss”

"I said no!" He raised his voice without letting the mage explain himself. “If you don’t want to follow my orders you can go back to your tower”.

"Commander." The mage growled losing himself again among the troops. Anduin sighed trying to calm down. He never thought his title could sound so much as an insult. Everyone shut up and stared at him. Anduin was not a patient man but the mage drove him mad.

Their journey took them to the border of Elwynn Forest on the first day. They were near Azora’s Tower when they finally stopped for dinner and lay over. Anduin didn’t expect to find anything more dangerous than a pack of gnolls so close to Stormwind but it was better to be prepared if the unexpected happened. He arranged the duty shift while the makeshift camp began to rise. The soldiers were in a good mood around the campfires that multiplied to help pass the low temperatures once the sun set.

It was a clear night when Anduin sat away from everyone on a stump in the shadow of the tower. He could hear the stories that the soldiers were telling around the bonfire. He was pretty sure the mage was listening among them. He didn’t know why he began to look for him.

"You seem distracted" Karos sat next to him and took a drink.

“I miss when our greatest concern was the trolls voodoo magic.”

"Those were good times, weren’t it?" Karos sighed “Many great stories were told about our battles against the trolls but you should listen to some of the stories the Guardian tells” The man looked away.

Anduin followed his gaze to the heart of one of the campfires. The soldiers were astounded by the grand words of the mage. He didn't need to hear anything to know what the mage was telling them.

"Now he wants to be a hero"

“He isn’t the main character in his stories” Karos got up slapping him on the back. “Maybe you should talk to him”

Karos walked away leaving Anduin alone with his thoughts. The mage's words echoed clearly in the silence of the night. Anduin didn't want to pay any attention to them but the voice of his consciousness sounded too much like Karos's in that moment. His heart shrank when he heard his name on the mage's mouth. The words took him back to Karazhan. He saw Medivh before him, his eyes black as the abyss, more demon than man. He couldn’t recognize himself screaming in despair pleading for Medivh to react. It was like a dream from another life. The mage smiled as he told the soldiers how that man had saved his life. The mage had a name, Khadgar. Khadgar was smiling as he told how that Lothar made sure that the demon was at the center of the mana source at the right time. Anduin felt as if the ground had disappeared under his feet.


	5. Chapter 5

On the other side of the road, the forests seemed to disappear to make way for the carved fields that painted the landscape in the dark tones of the damp soil. The farms with their cerulean roofs were barely scattered specks on the horizon. Khadgar was still awake watching in silence while the camp slept around him. He could hear the footsteps and murmurs of the guard soldiers occasionally. He was barely able to remember the forests of Lordaeron but his parents' farm couldn’t have been very different from the few they had left behind on their journey. Sometimes, not being able to remember his mother's face left a strange aftertaste in his mouth. He could still hear her cries when the mages of the Kirin Tor had turned up at home but he wasn't sure if he had simply made those memories up so he wouldn't feel so alone at night. Things would have been very different if he had been born in one of those small farms, with his pumpkin crops, so far from the influence of Dalaran. If he had been born in Elwynn perhaps his father wouldn’t have handed him over to Kirin Tor and he could have grown up like any other ordinary child.

Ordinary was a difficult word to imagine. He didn’t regret his years in Dalaran among scrolls and manuscripts. After all, his years with the Kirin Tor were what had made him who he was but for the first time he had seen another life. Everything was simpler before the Queen summoned him in Stormwind with worry on her face. She cared for Lothar. He was still her brother even with all his flaws and she was willing to fight until the end for him. They were family. And maybe that was the problem. The Kirin Tor had never been like a family to Khadgar. He was a stranger even among other mages. He was the next Guardian, always alone. He was the impartiality personified. The Kirin Tor made sure he was isolated from anything that could be a distraction. Everything had been fine until Lothar had smiled to say "I am proud of you." Something had broken in Khadgar that day and he didn't know how to put the pieces back together.

"Trouble sleeping?" Lothar caught him off guard.

"Oh" Khadgar kept looking at the horizon, trying to mask his confusion. They hadn’t had a friendly conversation for months and Lothar had already made his opinion very clear about the morning's discussion. “No, I was just thinking.”

"That can be dangerous." Lothar sat next to him and stretched out his legs. Khadgar looked at him askew trying to find in his face some explanation as to why he was still there but Lothar didn’t look like he wanted to speak.

"What can I do for you?" Khadgar broke the silence when it was too much for his sanity.

Lothar looked at him in surprise, almost as if he had forgotten that there was someone else there with him. "You're good at telling stories," he said staring at the ground. The grass that grew under the Commander’s feet had to be tremendously interesting.

"It's not like I have many more to tell" Khadgar shrugged "and your soldiers seem to like it."

"I think I've never thanked you for saving my life" Lothar was occupying himself throwing small stones into the ashes of a dying bonfire. "I'm sorry I behaved like an idiot."

"Never mind" Khadgar hugged his knees trying to get as small as possible. The two men fell silent again watching the darkness. "We'd better go to sleep" Khadgar rose shaking off the pebbles and the dust from his robe. He didn't know what to do with Lothar's apologies after days of contempt. “Good night, Commander.”

Khadgar moved away from the other man until he found a corner to lay on the floor. Covering himself with one of the blankets they had distributed among the soldiers, he closed his eyes. The night breeze carried the smell of the undergrowth and the drops of dew. He noticed Lothar's gaze fixed on his still figure. The man sat there for a long time.

"Good evening, Khadgar." Lothar muttered.

"Good morning, Sir!" A shrill voice woke him without any compassion shouting above the noise of the camp. Khadgar woke up with his heart in his mouth and the arcane power in his eyes. His brain connected in time to understand that there was no danger and the magic died at the same time Khadgar sighed.

"I don't recommend startling a mage" he was tired. It was late when he had finally fallen asleep, the brief conversation with Lothar circling in his head until almost dawn.

“The Commander has ordered not to wake you until it was necessary” the soldier greeted him proudly. Khadgar doubted the soldier would be so happy if he knew how close he had been to turn into a sheep. Khadgar remembered him vaguely. The soldier was one more face among the hundreds who had left Stormwind following the Lion of Azeroth.

"Lothar?" He told himself surprised. “Are you sure?”

"Sir!" the soldier said goodbye with a military salute leaving Khadgar alone with his confusion.

The situation was so unlikely that Khadgar couldn’t help looking for Lothar with his eyes, convinced that everything was a joke. It was not difficult to see him next to Sir Karos. They seemed to be discussing their plans for the day. He didn't know how long he had been watching them when Lothar looked up from the maps he seemed to be studying and his eyes met with Khadgar’s. Khadgar turned his face away embarrassed and didn’t dare to look again and check if he had imagined Lothar's smile.

They had another day ahead until they reached Three Corners. Khadgar gave his mare two half apples to keep her entertained while saddling her again. The troops began to move with Lothar and the rest of the cavalry opening the march. Khadgar stayed away, preferring the company of the beasts of burden that dragged the supply carts. Khadgar still wasn’t used to the soldiers greetings every time they passed by.

"Guardian." The soldier who had woken him that same morning stopped before him and bowed, his huge blue eyes full of curiosity. It was the same look that so many others aimed at the Lion of Azeroth. Khadgar didn’t remember doing anything that deserved such admiration.

"I didn't have a chance to ask your name before," Khadgar smiled.

"Horace Hayden, Sir." The soldier hesitated paralyzed as if Khadgar's magic had frozen him right there.

"It’s nice to meet you, Horace." Khadgar reached out his arm offering his hand in greeting. "If you want, you can call me Khadgar."

"Sir, Khadgar." The soldier squared himself and said goodbye with a smile on his face before running off to return to his place.

Khadgar couldn't help laughing in disbelief when he saw Horace walk away and get lost among the rest of the soldiers.

The road was consumed under his feet as the morning progressed. The green of Elwynn Forest gradually began to give way to the raddle of the Redridge mountains. It was late in the afternoon when they finally reached Three Corners. Khadgar dismounted when he heard the stop order and stroked the neck of his mare before pulling her away from the chaos that began to tingle around her.

The tower next to the road was not very different from Azora’s tower in the heart of Elwynn and many others scattered throughout the kingdom. Khadgar had observed them numerous times in his travels. He had even slept among its icy walls on the worst winter nights when he didn't have a sad coin in his pockets to pay for a room.

Maybe it was the idea of having to part ways but the soldiers were nervous. The trip ended there for some of them while many others continued eastward, towards Stonewatch Keep. It was not his destination: Lothar was headed south and Khadgar was going to follow him to hell itself if necessary. 


	6. Chapter 6

Duskwood lived in an ageless semidarkness. It was as if the noon’s light had forgotten those lands. The inhabitants of those parts of the kingdom were known for their coarse and distrustful character. Anduin was leading the hundred soldiers who had followed him on roads half buried under the undergrowth. The horses waved their ears nervously while the two supply carts slowed down their journey each time one of the wheels got caught in the grooves of the battered roads. Anduin remembered riding through those same forests in his youth with Llane and Medivh at his side. It used to be easy to hunt deer around Brightwood Grove not so long ago but the world was changing around him and never seemed to be for the better.

Wolf attacks had become commonplace in recent months and it didn't take long to hear the first howls. Anduin hoped that the smoke from the torches would be enough to keep them away but he soon unsheathed his sword when the howls kept repeating ever closer. Soon, everyone who had a sword had followed suit. The howls multiplied around him. They seemed to come from everywhere.

The first of the beasts jumped from the edge of the road, growling and showing a mouth full of sharp teeth. The animal was moving cautiously. The horse’s whinnies mixed with the heavy breaths of the men. The fear could almost be smelt around them. Four other wolves blocked their way and jumped at the feet of the horses while the riders shouted trying to keep them calm.

Anduin pounced on the first of the wolves, releasing an accurate slash. He noticed the edge tearing the flesh and sinking into the beast. The horses reared by throwing more than one rider to the ground and fleeing in stampede. The wolves ran after them giving the soldiers a break and leaving the riflemen room to shoot. The horses tied to the cars pulled the reins crazy.

The shots rang through the forest and at least one of the wolves collapsed with an agonized scream. The wolves that were still alive managed to take down one of the horses. Anduin recognized the gray mare that Taria had given the mage.

"Khadgar!" Anduin turned in time to see the arcane shield rise between the mage and the claws of a beast.

"Is it normal for them to be so aggressive?" Khadgar shouted as soon as he finished his spell leaving a sheep where there was a wolf until a second ago. A grimace of pain was drawn on the mage's face as he tried to get up.

"Are you all right?" Anduin grabbed his arm and helped him to his feet.

"Yes, I think so." Khadgar tried to set foot on the floor and frowned again trying to hide the pain. "I don't think it's broken." He added pointing at his leg.

"Sir Khadgar!" Hayden came running sword in hand "Are you okay?" He greeted Anduin after realizing he was there "Commander! Is that a wolf?” The kid stared suspiciously at the sheep that grazed quietly between them. Anduin stared at him surprised to hear the mage’s name. Hayden must be the only one among the troops who didn’t call Khadgar "Guardian".

"Right now it’s a sheep" Khadgar said with a shrug. “Someone should take care of it.”

Anduin cut the sheep-wolf’s neck with a clean cut. Blood flowed from the cut creating a blackish puddle under their feet. Khadgar looked at him apprehensively.

"What did you expect me to do?" He asked cleaning the blood-stained edge. Everything seemed to have returned to normal for the moment.

"I-I don't know" the mage hesitated, "but was it necessary to cut it’s head off?"

"It would be better for someone to look at that leg." Anduin shrugged. “Hayden, can you take care of it?”

"I'm fine" Khadgar tried to refute without much success.

Without waiting for a second, the boy ran away. They weren’t lucky enough to have a priest among the troops but at least they still had their supply of potions and their knowledge in first aid sometimes helped.

"Do you think the fel may have affected the fauna of the region?" Anduin watched Hayden move away. For the moment, they were as alone as they could be surrounded by his troops.

“It could be but I don’t think so. Karazhan is the most important point of convergence of the Ley lines in the Eastern Kingdoms. Some of them pass right under our feet. Sometimes, alterations in the flows can manifest themselves in strange ways.” Khadgar told excited “Once I read a book about the creation of the Sunwell and similar occurrences were documented among the fauna of Quel’Thalas”

"Sounds exciting." Anduin interrupted him arching an eyebrow. "But you're aware that I’m unlikely to understand anything you're going to say."

"S-sorry" Anduin could not help noticing how Khadgar’s cheeks blushed. He didn’t want to embarrass the mage but it looked like he had achieved just that.

"I'd have to" he said not sure what he meant to tell. Karos looked at him sideways and seemed to be laughing at his expense. “Make them look at that leg.”

"Sir Khadgar" Hayden broke the tension of the moment by interrupting them with his arrival. Anduin took the opportunity to flee without paying attention to what the kid had to say.

Eleven wolf’s corpses and one of sheep rested in a row in front of Anduin. Of the eight horses that had accompanied them two had died because of the wounds while another had been sacrificed. At least there was no need to regret human casualties, just some bruising, scratches, bites and Khadgar's sprain. With no mare to ride, the mage had been relegated to a bench on the supply car and was whistling distractedly. Anduin looked at him sideways. He was convinced that at any moment the mage could disappear.

“The men have finished the damage inspection” Karos crossed his arms next to him watching the dead animals “There’s a problem with the Guardian?”

"He shouldn't be here." Anduin couldn't help staring at the beheaded sheep. “It has only been a sprain but”

"He's not the only one the horses have thrown to the ground" Karos sighed. “He has already proved himself in combat and I’m sure we would be dead if he had not had sneaked into the barracks that day”.

“Why are you all determined to remind me that the mage is indispensable?” Anduin brayed. "He has already done his part." He felt the frustration gripping his stomach. "I was in Karazhan with him when he faced Medivh! I was convinced that we would die right there.” He still felt chills remembering the panic he had felt when he saw the creature that his childhood friend had become. In his nightmares, he was sometimes unable to distinguish between the arcane shield Khadgar had casted around him and the lightning barrier that Medivh had conjured at the Blackrock pass. The feeling of helplessness had overwhelmed him completely, unable to do anything but look. Some nights he forgot that it was Callan who had died, pierced by the claws of that deformed monster and it was Khadgar who was watching him, life escaping from his body. Those nights were too painful to wake up. In the morning, Callan was still dead and it was like losing him again. These mornings he hated Khadgar for staying alive while his son was rotting two feet underground. “If you hear him, it looks like I saved his life but it isn’t true. Khadgar saved us all.”

“So? It's the new Guardian” Karos slapped him on the back. “I don't understand what worries you so much.”

"We should continue." Anduin looked at the bodies for the last time before riding in one of the mares that had survived. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer to that question.


	7. Chapter 7

It was the morning of the fifth day since his departure from Stormwind when they first saw Karazhan rise imposingly before them. There was absolute silence among the soldiers. Anduin only wished to finally leave Duskwood behind after days with the howls of the crazed wolves keeping them up all night. Despite the hardships, nothing had prepared him for the desolation that reigned around the tower. There were only skeletons of burned trees and inert land in kilometers around. It was unlikely that something would ever grow back there.

Tiredness began to make a dent among men but everyone forced themselves to move on. The thin faces watched from the other side of their helmets swords prepared for any unforeseen. Anduin was startled when the ghosts began to appear around him. No one else seemed to have noticed them except for the mage. Souls walked as disoriented. They glowed like the arcane blue of Khadgar's spells. It was impossible to discern their faces. They stood among the soldiers. The ghosts shouted and begged for help but the men did not seem able to see them. Anduin gave orders to continue, not wanting to spend more time than necessary in that cursed place.

It had been hours of walking between dead places when Anduin noticed that there were again blades of grass on the sides of the road. It was dry and weak but that grass was enough to know that the desolation of the landscape was not going to haunt them forever.

"Commander, the men are exhausted and the horses won't stand much longer." Karos rode until he caught up.

Anduin frowned. The horses shook their ears and snorted every time a ghost got too close to them. The nervousness of the animals seemed to infect their riders and the rest of the soldiers. For the moment, the ghosts had proved harmless but it was hard to imagine that a sword could help them if that was no longer the case. Anduin looked at Khadgar. It was easy to locate him sitting in one of the supply carts.

“Half an hour” Anduin dismounted and handed the reins to his lieutenant “Then we will continue”.

"As you order" Karos nodded and shouted the order to the rest of the soldiers.

Anduin just hoped he wasn't being foolish leaving them exposed in the middle of nowhere. The crows looked like they were watching them motionless in the dead trees. It could only be a bad omen. Khadgar jumped out of the car or rather dropped down trying not to put his foot on the ground.

"Lothar?" The mage had built himself an improvised crutch. "Are we stopping?"

"So it seems." Anduin sat in the space the mage had set free. “The men need rest and we are the only ones who are seeing” He pointed to one of the spirits, not wanting to mention them for fear that someone else would hear.

"Ah." Khadgar put his crutch on the bottom of the bench and sat down again. "They're just echoes of the past. The whole pass is loaded with volatile magic. If you want I can cast guards and keep them away. I'm more concerned with the spiders.” Khadgar looked at him with a sly smile. “I still have nightmares because of the spiders.”

“Spiders? I haven’t seen more than crows” Anduin was convinced that the mage was teasing him.

“They are as big as that” the mage pulled his arms apart at least half a yard. “Black, with bright eyes and long hairy legs.” Anduin hated spiders, they were disgusting bugs. He had hated them since he was just a kid. Khadgar took pity on him and set the issue aside. “Tell me where you need those guards.”

Maybe it was better to move forward. Anduin shuddered as he thought about spiders again. Hamlet couldn’t be more than two hours away and his ruins were going to be more defensible than the wasteland they were in.

"Lothar?" Khadgar took him out of his reverie. "The guards?"

“We better take advantage of the hours of sunshine that we have left to get in the Swamp. I don't want to be in this damn land a second longer than necessary.”

The grass grew al plenty under his feet. The brownish and dying color was blending with the greenish tones of living nature. They soon saw the first trees. They where squalid and twisted with rickety leaves. It was impossible to know what to wait for, but they found themselves in the middle of a quagmire not much later. Mosquitoes buzzed around them. Damp made insufferable to advance with the infantry armor. The road was barely felt under the brush and at times it disappeared completely in the middle of the quagmire. Hamlet had been the first town the orcs attacked. Most of its villagers had died to feed Gul’dan’s magic. The arrows fell down like a relentless rain from which there was nowhere to hide.

"In defense formation!" Anduin shouted. His men were dying to tens and their blood mixed with the rotting waters of the swamp. “Protect the formation! Shields high!”

He couldn't find Khadgar anywhere in the midst of chaos. Anduin cursed the inexperience of many of those kids. They were too slow and they kept falling like flies. The orcs had matched the numbers by the time his men had finally managed to protect themselves behind the shield wall.

The strange battle cries echoed through the trees. They finally saw them mounted on their monster wolves. No matter how many times he had faced them, his first reaction was always an irrational panic that froze any thought. Perhaps the worst was how very human his eyes were.

"Hold on!" Anduin kept shouting orders. He couldn't let the panic control them all or they were dead. His voice broke under the pressure. "Hold on!" He felt his teeth grind. "Poleaxes!" He shouted at the same moment that the wolves pounced on them. The blades of the spears and poleaxes slitted the animals in half. One of the wolves fell down over its rider, crushing him.

“Attack!” At his order, the formation fell apart.

“Shala’ros!” Khadgar's voice throbbed charged with arcane power and the swamp lit up in a supernatural blue. The shock wave pushed the orcs and made them fall. The mage had just given the humans precious seconds.

“Protect the Guardian” He shouted as he ran among his men, finishing off all the orcs he could while they were still disoriented on the ground.

Khadgar seemed to be in a trance, his eyes consumed by the power emanating from himself. The chants continued while his fingers danced guiding arcane projectiles that followed their prey like hunting dogs.

The break seemed to be over. A gang of orcs were running for the mage with their axes raised. Anduin ran trying to reach the mage in time but the orcs were too near for him to catch up. One of the axes fell like a guillotine through the air. Khadgar had disappeared to reappear a few meters away, far from danger and with a new spell prepared between his fingers. The arcane missiles kept lighting the forest.

Anduin stopped unable to look away from the ax stuck in the ground. He had been so close. He couldn’t breathe.

“Commander!” Karos's voice took him out of his reverie.

He felt the movement of the hammer as a presence behind him too late. Distractions on the battlefield were paid dearly. It was the first lesson any warrior learned.

Karos pushed him.

Only a second more and the hammer would have sunk his skull. Karos fell on his lap at the same time that the glow of Khadgar's magic blinded him completely. The swamp felt into the most absolute silence. It was as if for a moment the world had disappeared. In small flashes, Anduin began to recover his sight. A burnt smell came from every corner of the quagmire.

"C-Comm" Karos's chest was completely sunk. Blood gurgled between his lips.

“Don’t talk" Anduin shut him with a finger against his lips. The blood was hot and sticky but there were no open wounds in which stop the bleeding. The blow must have broken his ribs and pierced his lungs. “Khadgar!” He shouted desperately. They needed to teleport him to Stormwind before it was too late. “Khadgar!” Anduin noticed the second in which Karos expired his last breath. The blood, black and thick, had ceased to flow. He hugged the corpse and shook it trying to wake him up. He didn't care how many orcs were alive. Karos had died because of him.


	8. Chapter 8

In the midst of so much death, Lothar seemed insignificant embracing the dead body of who had been his Lieutenant and yet there was something in his posture that spoke of a man who was to be feared. Khadgar limped over and knelt beside him. The adrenaline had managed to make him disregard the pain but now, once the danger had passed, his leg burned with the effort.

"They were ready for us." Lothar pressed Karos's body harder against his chest. Khadgar saw in him the Lion of Azeroth more than ever before.

The mage was silent. There were no words that could help the warrior. Lothar had lost more than anyone in that war and it seemed that losses kept piling on his shoulders. Khadgar sighed. His presence was a sad consolation but he wasn't sure he had anything else to offer.

Khadgar looked up as he heard footsteps. The survivors gathered around him. They were too few, they were exhausted and many of them badly injured. Their eyes seemed to stick like knives on Khadgar. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Khadgar was the only mage that most of those men would ever know. Khadgar had shown them what a single man with the power and the appropriate knowledge could do. In their eyes, the mage wasn’t a human being anymore. He was just a monster, it didn't matter that he saved their lives.

“Lothar, we should move on” sweat was sticking his hair against his temples and his robe seemed to want to melt into his skin. “Here we are easy prey”.

"It's my fault" Lothar muttered still kneeling on the floor. With reverential care, he got up dragging Karos body with him. The soldiers stepped aside. Khadgar tried to follow him but stumbled when his bad leg failed.

"Sir!" Horace broke ranks and ran to catch him before he fell. Khadgar didn't know whether to laugh or cry when he saw the worry on the soldier's face.

With Horace as a crutch, Khadgar moved forward. The rest of the soldiers walked away as if Khadgar was nothing more than a leper. Khadgar breathed trying to hide the slightest hint of emotion on his face. He was used to contempt. More than once, being ignored had ended up being a blessing. Karos body rested against a tree when Khadgar finally reached the warrior.

"It was an interesting journey, old friend," Lothar crouched in front of the body and let the sword rest on Karos knees.

Of the hundred men who had left Three Corners, there were barely thirty left when they finally reached Hamlet. The quagmire had done a good job recovering the land that the village had occupied. The sight of the wooden houses eaten away by termites and rotted by dampness was discouraging. The only buildings that looked like they had endured were the old town hall and the small church built in stone. Even in that case, the roots of the trees had begun to intermingle with the walls and lift the ground. Water sneaked through the cracks that opened the plants flooding important parts of the buildings.

Lothar had put a team to work on barricades around the ruins of the village while the rest of the soldiers embarked on the painful task of recovering the bodies of the fallen.

Contrary to what the soldiers seemed to think, the portals were a much more complex magic than any arcane barrage. It was necessary to have a strong emotional connection with the place where one wanted to go to begin with. In addition, the runes were one of the most intricate that existed, but first he needed a surface on which to draw them. A wetland was not a great canvas. Khadgar was still desperately looking for a suitable place. With any luck, the upper floors of the old church would remain in good condition. He cursed when he stepped on a puddle soaking his boots as soon as he got into the building. He could hear voices echoing between the stone walls.

"The old Guardian was allied with those brutes" Khadgar couldn't help paying attention when he heard his title. "What makes you think the new one isn't too?"

“It would explain many things” another voice answered the first one. “Do you think that's why the orcs knew when to attack?”

“You have heard the Commander. Someone had to put them on notice” the first voice lowered the tone before going on “I’d bet whatever it was the Guardian.”

Khadgar noticed how his insides froze and he forgot what he was doing. He couldn't breathe. He needed to get out of those four walls. He needed to disappear. He let magic seize him, his eyes completely consumed by his azure glow. His magic had always been with him. The tickling between his fingers reassured him and in an instant he vanished.

The two men who had been talking in the next room passed by without seeing him and Khadgar followed them outside. Although he knew that no one could see him, he had the impression that everyone was watching him and pointing him as a traitor and a murderer.

Near the ruins of Hamlet, Khadgar found an old coal mine. Some rusty and empty carts rested on rails that had not seen movement in a long time. It gave the impression that the mine had been abandoned long before the orcs finished with the inhabitants of the village.

Khadgar moved slowly through its labyrinthine corridors attentive to signs that some large predator used the numerous tunnels as a refuge. After walking a long time he found nothing but vermin. On the walls he could see reflections of the old ore veins creating silvery seas. Khadgar smiled at the beauty that could be found even among abandoned rocks. The entrance of the cave was barely visible when he finally decided to stop. Leaning against the wall, he let his eyelids close. In the most complete darkness he could pretend that he was still in Karazhan, surrounded by his studies on fel, where no one despised or feared him.

“So this is where you had hidden” Lothar's voice caught him off guard and in a reflex act he let the arcane power come to him. "It's just me, Spell-chucker." The warrior came near with his hands raised.

"I have a name," he replied sharply, looking away again "and it isn’t Spell-chucker."

"No one knew where you had gone" Lothar's footsteps echoed against the rock. “I was worried about you.”

"I can defend myself." Khadgar was still staring at the wall but Lothar ignored all the signs that clearly said he wasn’t welcome.

“That won’t make me worry any less” the warrior replied sitting next to him. Khadgar felt the heat of his thigh through the robe. “It seems quiet”.

Losing his nerves, he turned determined to tell the warrior to leave. He didn't need Lothar to also remind him that he was nothing more than a treacherous rat. The words died on his lips. The man looked like a living corpse. Karos's blood still bathed much of his armor and caked some strands of ashen hair.

"Silence helps me think" he sighed exhausted.

"I'd like to stop doing it." Lothar muttered rubbing his face with both hands. Khadgar remembered that face perfectly. It was the same Callan's death had put on the man’s face. "Looks like we're the only left." Khadgar was petrified when he felt Lothar's hand on his thigh and his head resting against his neck. It was the closest he had ever had anyone and his thoughts were unable to focus on anything. “There is too much noise. It's like I'm going crazy.”

"Lothar" Khadgar had the impression that he was screaming even though his voice was just a whisper "maybe you should try to sleep."

"I can't" Lothar groaned. “I see their faces when I close my eyes. Khadgar, you don't know what it is. They scream and scream and I can't... Please.”

"I can’t" He replied with a confidence he didn't feel. For a moment he had believed that Lothar was really there because he cared about him.

“I just need a drink.” Lothar sat astride his thighs and grabbed him by the robe's neck forcing the mage to look him in the eye. “What does it mean for you? Nothing. A snap of your fingers.”

"I promised your sister that I would take care of you." Khadgar wanted to cry over the absurdness of the situation. It was unfair. His body reacted without his permission and anything he could do only would worsen the situation.

"Please, I need to sleep." Lothar released him and dropped his head against Khadgar's chest. The mention of the Queen seemed to have made the man lose the desire to argue.

"Anduin, I can't." Khadgar put his arms around him and began drawing circles on his back. He had a vague memory that his mother used to do the same when he was little and had woken up scared after a nightmare. “Ask me for anything else.”

"Anything?" Lothar raised his face, but it was the Lion who looked at him. Khadgar noticed his stomach turning. Without any shame, the man settled against his pelvis and with right hand began to unbuckle his belt. "Are you sure?" Lothar's eyes were deep blue and challenged him to beg the warrior to stop. Khadgar noticed the blush on his cheeks but stared at him. It was just sex, what mattered. He had long assumed that for him there were no stories with a happy ending.

The light breeze that swept through the tunnels gave him goosebumps when the cloth left his chest exposed. Lothar bit him on the neck and Khadgar groaned. The warrior's hands, rough for years brandishing swords, burned against his skin. They roamed his back, descending down his sides and losing themselves beyond the waist of his pants. Without too much trouble, Lothar unfastened the ties of both of his pants and as if Khadgar weighed nothing, he lifted the mage embedding him against the rock.

"We don't have to continue" Lothar made sure the mage noticed the erection between his legs.

"I know," Khadgar hugged him, crossing his arms behind the warrior's neck and hid his face. Lothar's smell was pungent and unpleasant but Khadgar shouldn’t be in a much better state. If he didn't think too much, it was easy to forget what was going on around him.

“Who was going to say that you hid muscles under the robe? Mmh?” Lothar whispered lowering him back to the ground and forcing him to turn. Khadgar was still feeling the warrior's warmth against his back. One of the hands seemed to burn against his hip while the other eased Lothar’s entry. His attention was on the bite again. Khadgar didn't want to see the memories of what they were doing when he woke up in the morning. It was just a game for Lothar. Khadgar was breathing slowly. He just wanted it to end quickly. He tried not to oppose the invasion but with the first onslaught, the pain made him shrink in himself. Lothar stopped before going on. Khadgar whined in frustration. The warrior's hands ran down his back and sides trying to help him relax. Every inch was torture. Lothar's grunts echoed in the tunnels of the mine. It seemed to have passed an eternity by the time Lothar began to ram with energy, and another, when he finally lost his rhythm and dropped spent. A moment later, the exhaustion of the day dragged the warrior to a deep sleep. With the weight of the warrior on his chest it was tricky to handle, but the mage did what he could to keep them presentable if someone found them before Lothar woke up. Khadgar kept his tears in his stomach and stayed awake for a long time before sleep also caught him.

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

Anduin didn’t know how much time had passed when he woke up but he couldn’t see the slightest glimpse of light from the outside. The tunnels of the mine were bathed in the slight glow of arcane magic. It had not been his intention to fall asleep on the other side of the barricades but at least Khadgar had casted guards at the entrance. The isolation of the mine seemed to be a parallel world. For a moment, Anduin could almost forget the horror and death that haunted him everywhere. He could have stayed there forever. Asleep on his chest, Khadgar didn't seem to be anything special. It was hard to imagine that he was the same person who hours before had decimated the orcs only with gestures and words. Anduin hardly remembered what it was like to wake up with someone in his arms. He smiled when he realized that he could get used to it again without much effort. He refused to move but in the end the desire to piss won. His whole body was numb and the arm that Khadgar used as a pillow tickled. Carefully, he got rid of the mage's arms. He couldn't help but smile when he heard Khadgar whine. With nothing to hug, the mage curled up with his own cloak and kept sleeping oblivious to everything. It was hard to imagine what would have been of his life without him. Khadgar had saved his life more times than he could remember. Without paying much attention, he looked for a place to relieve himself.

Outside the cave, it was impossible to see the sky through the thick layer formed by the trees above their heads. Near the water, the fireflies looked like they wanted to compensate for the lack of stars. The breeze ran smoothly and brought the constant hum of the insects. Not far from there, the campfires glowed at night. It was too dangerous to take the road back through the darkness of the swamp. With the noises of the night around him, Anduin was just turning around what had happened just hours before. He was a dead man if it reached Taria's ears, the kid might well have been his son. Anduin had fucked other people for more stupid reasons but the idea that Khadgar had only done it for stubbornness left a bad taste in his mouth. Dawn was beginning to rise when Anduin rose and went looking for the mage hoping to find him still asleep. The tunnels of the mine were completely deserted. Anduin walked them twice before giving up and just taking the road back to Hamlet.

The camp seemed to be in a frenzy when he finally crossed the barricade. Khadgar stayed away, staring at one of his manuscripts. Anduin couldn't help noticing the bruise on his neck. Anduin noticed the heat in his belly knowing that he had put that mark there. Purple contrasted against the paleness of the rest of the skin. Anduin was not the only one who couldn't stop looking at it. As he passed among the soldiers, he noticed their furtive glances when they thought he was not looking at them. It might have been a stupid thing to do but he didn't care who knew what had happened between them. He didn’t plan to be ashamed of having slept with Khadgar.

"Any problem?" Anduin shouted tired of his soldiers' nonsense when they had more important things to worry about. In the end, what he and Khadgar did was no one's business but theirs.

Khadgar raised his face and stared at him for a moment before getting lost again in the pages of the book. Anduin raised his arm and stood half-greeting. He was convinced that the mage had seen him. The warrior sighed. The work ahead was enormous and the hands available too few. If the mage wanted his space, he wasn't going to deny him.

Anduin wiped the sweat from his forehead. With the rearguard crumbling, he worried that Stonewatch might fall but he couldn’t do anything without news from the explorers. There was still a lot of work ahead if they wanted to have enough wood to light the pyres with the last light of the day. The bodies were too many to bury but getting enough dry wood for the pyres was not an easy task in the sticky dampness of the quagmire.

Anduin had joined the gang that was in charge of the pyres. Manual work kept his mind distracted but by the time dinner came, he had been waiting for some kind of acknowledgment from the mage all day. It was very usual seeing the mage with his nose glued to the pages of anything with letters but before that morning, Anduin didn't remember seeing him with a book in his hands since they left Stormwind. It was a sad dinner. They barely could afford nothing more than hard bread softened with a little water and a piece of beef jerky. They still had some cheese and the hard meat of the vermin they could hunt around Hamlet. Once he finished dinner, Anduin stood in front of the mage tired of waiting.

"You've been ignoring me all day" He snapped without waiting for the mage to pay attention to him.

"I didn’t" Khadgar took his nose out of the book. "You have your responsibilities, I have mine." And he raised the book as if that proved something.

"I haven't seen you read a book since we left Stormwind." Anduin reproached him. "Are you going to tell me it's a coincidence?"

"Lothar, we're barely friends." Khadgar stared at him almost without blinking. "I'm here because the Queen asked me to. As soon as we return to Stormwind I will return to Karazhan and you will forget that I exist. Are you going to tell me that last night changes something?”

“What makes you think that we aren’t friends?” The words of the mage went through him like daggers.

"Hold on, let me think." Khadgar's face was pure disbelief. “You have yelled at me, insulted me, ignored me” he began to count with his fingers each affront.

"I thought that we had left it behind." Anduin interrupted. "I apologized."

“Oh! Right. You asked for forgiveness.” The resentment seemed to flow from all the pores of the mage's skin “And how you asked for forgiveness, we are friends. Thanks for the information, Lothar.”

Khadgar closed the book and blinked without further notice than the cerulean color of his eyes. Anduin felt totally disoriented standing with the word in his mouth. Khadgar's figure appeared on the other side of the camp. The warrior resisted the instinct to follow him and force him to listen. The war had taken Callan from him but it looked like he was enough to lose Khadgar.


	10. Chapter 10

The pyres had been burning for hours. The flames crackled as the smoke rose in white columns toward the night sky. The survivors had gathered to pay their respects to the dead. All but one. The absence of the mage raised a wave of murmurs among the rest of the soldiers. Anduin genuflected in reverence to all the fallen and silence prevailed while one after another, the rest of the soldiers followed suit. Their deaths weighed on Anduin's consciousness. He hadn't even been able to take their bodies back home. He silently prayed for their souls and for their forgiveness. He wanted to think that somehow the flames would help them find their way to the other side.

There was nothing left but embers when Anduin finally got up completely alone. He was upset Khadgar had been missing. The mage should have been there, no matter how angry he was with Anduin. Karos didn’t deserve his contempt. None of the dead deserved it. Khadgar only managed to look like a spoiled child.

The morning after the funeral they woke up surrounded by a thick mist that didn't let them see anything. Anduin had organized the patrols around Hamlet and sent several teams of scouts to explore. The messenger had left at dawn, the Eastern Front needed to know they were alone. Anduin had been in worse situations and he knew information was vital in order to find an alternative that would not condemn them all. He couldn't help thanking the intervention of whoever saved one of their maps. Any watchtower, camp, town that had not been in the reports of SI:7 ended up being a tile on it.

"Sir" the explorer placed a stone on the map. It looked like slate except for the green reflections that sparkled in a jerky rhythm in strange lines. The fel remains were unmistakable. Anduin took the stone with his gloved hand and put it in his belt. It looked like the runes of teleportation that Khadgar used.

"Hayden!" He shouted when he saw the kid checking the state of the rings of his coat. "Have you seen the Guardian?"

"Commander!" The boy lost track of what he was doing. He got up and the coat slipped down to the ground. He looked at it sideways hesitant between picking it up or greeting Anduin with the regulatory sign. "Sir!" He finally decided. “No, I haven’t?”

"He’s in the mines on the other side of the road," Anduin sighed exhausted, "right?"

"I don't know, sir." Hayden blushed. Anduin frowned but let it pass. It was clear that the boy needed to learn to lie.

Khadgar's habit of disappearing without warning anyone could be annoying most of the time but in the middle of enemy territory it was almost suicidal. Anduin took his sword and tied it to his belt before jumping over the barricade. Upon arriving in front of the mine entrance, the slight glint of the guards was the only confirmation he needed to know that his intuition had been correct.

"I was waiting for you at the funeral." He shouted counting on the echo to carry his voice to Khadgar.

Anduin frowned when he saw the blankets that made up a makeshift bed. There were several bottles of water stored in one of the old shelves where the miners kept the tools, muffins that looked freshly made and the books on one of the tables looked like they had some sort of order.

"I didn't think I was welcome." The mage closed the book in his hands and got up. He looked better.

“Why not? Karos always liked you. There would have been no one left to light the pyres if it wasn't for you.” It was strange to see him so defensive “What’s going on? I don't think it's just because”

Khadgar burst into hysterical laughter and needed to lean against the wall to avoid falling. The potions looked like they were helping with the sprain and Anduin had to pay close attention to notice the slight limping in the mage left leg.

“Lothar? Why are you so convinced that the world revolves around you?”

"I don't think the world revolves around me" he replied indignantly. It was hard to believe when all his childhood had been defined as being the best friend of those who would one day be the King of Stormwind and the all-powerful Guardian.

"But you are selfish enough to assume that I haven’t gone to the funeral because I didn’t want to see you." Khadgar threw the book on one of the abandoned tables with a blow.

“What other explanation is there?” Anduin looked at him pleadingly “Everything was going well and suddenly”

"This time it was going to be different!" Khadgar shouted. "I've lived in almost every corner of the continent and the same thing always happens. The moment the people know I’m a mage I’m no longer human, Lothar. So excuse me for thinking I wouldn’t be welcome!”

“Khadgar, I’m”

"I’m convinced there was a reason for your visit, forget what I said." Khadgar interrupted sharply. "How can I help you, Commander?"

He had never been able to understand why the mage hated so much that he called him spell-chucker until that moment. They were only words but they could have split him in half. Anduin rummaged in the belt pocket and laid the stone on the book Khadgar was reading.

"Where did you find it?" Khadgar watched it with a strange mixture of wonder and dread.

"You know what it is" Anduin said knowing that he wouldn't like the mage's answer.

"Do you see that form at the top?" Khadgar pointed out what appeared to be a rhombus with escape lines. "It is a summoning rune. In Dalaran, they are used to tie the will of the water elementals.”

"Are you telling me that the orcs could have an army of elementals?" Anduin was horrified at the idea. The devastation that a single elemental could unleash could be terrifying.

"These aren’t for summoning elementals." Khadgar leaned against the table. "The orcs are summoning demons."

Anduin paled. It had almost taken their lives to banish the being who had possessed Medivh. It was hard to imagine that they could do something if the orcs were able to summon one of those demons.

"I'm going to need some time to study it before I can tell you something else." Khadgar turned the stone following the drawings with interest. "But the rune is simple. Looks like it’s for lesser demons.”

Anduin sighed somewhat relieved.

The camp was engulfed in the most absolute chaos when Anduin went back. Everyone was there screaming like crazy at the two men who surrounded themselves like lurking felines. Anduin recognized Hayden with his fists raised and panting.

“Shut up! Khadgar is a better person than any of you” Hayden rammed in full force and threw himself at the other soldier knocking him down. The rain of punches didn't seem to stop.

"Hey!" Anduin shouted. "What's going on here?"

The other soldier took advantage of the distraction to sneak out from under the kid and spit a bloody tooth on the ground. One of the punches had split his lip and the blood was slipping to the chin. Hayden could barely open one eye because of the swelling and kept his fists clenched. Everyone fell silent.

"I've asked a question!" Anduin already had enough trouble to have to worry about the quarrels between them. “I thought I had soldiers and not animals.”

"You are all a bunch of cowards." Hayden stood up shaking the dirt that stained his knees. "You murmur and criticize Khadgar behind his back knowing he won't move a finger to defend himself. Perhaps it is true that he is allied with the orcs” He spat “if it is people like you he is supposed to fight for.” The boy turned and began to walk away.

"Soldier!" Anduin shouted wanting him to stop.

Hayden ignored him and kept walking until he got lost beyond the barricade. That kid's loyalty to the mage could end up being a problem.

"Does anyone else have anything to say?" Anduin glared at them. No one said a word but it was easy to imagine what kind of rumors ran among the soldiers if he took into account Hayden's words “Begone!”

The orcs were going to have it very easy to kill them if they engaged in fighting. Anduin sighed missing a drink of bourbon. Alcohol only caused him problems and yet it was the only thing he could think of when things went wrong. He missed his old bottle but the bastard had disappeared into the swamp. Anduin was a disgrace as a human being. He wanted to think that he was different from those short-sighted people who had gradually plunged Khadgar into the mud but he was the worst of them all. It wasn’t going to be surprising that Khadgar didn't want to hear from him again.


	11. Chapter 11

Khadgar played with the rune without paying too much attention. He was beginning to hate the quagmire, the mosquitoes, the dampness and even the air itself. He missed his solitude. Everything was much easier when he was alone. Khadgar was convinced that he had seen that engraving in some book, but was unable to remember which one.

Among the books that had accompanied him since Stormwind there were a few good candidates but he had been fighting with the first one for a while and the words seemed to pierce him without penetrating his mind.

"Why is everything so complicated?" He sighed dropping against the cold rock.

He couldn’t understand what was going on in the Commander's head. Thinking about Lothar gave him a headache and closing his eyes did not grant him a second of truce. He wanted to scream, to corner the man and beg him to stop playing with him.

"Khadgar?" Horace's voice interrupted his thoughts. The soldier must be the only one who was still glad to see him. Khadgar put the rune in his bag and got up leaving the book he had in his lap anywhere.

"What happened?" He couldn't help but be startled when he saw the soldier's appearance. His ashen hair fell on his eyes but he couldn't hide the color of the blood around the iris. When it finished swelling the man could hardly even open it.

"I was tired of hearing them" Horace brayed and cringed in pain when the cut on his lip reopened.

"Have you fought again because of me?" Khadgar took one of the water bottles and began to clean his wounds with the help of a rag. “Don’t do it. It doesn’t matter” the mage sighed. “Someone should see you. That eye doesn't look good and I don't have potions here.”

"I don't understand why you haven't told the commander." Horace took the ice cubes offered by the mage and covered his eye. “In his own way he also cares about you.”

"I'm fine" Khadgar growled. "What do you think would fix telling Lothar? You have already heard what they say.”

"So you're going to keep letting them treat you the way they want?" Horace sat next to him. "I don't think he's going to be very happy when he finds out."

"And when does he seem happy?" He murmured.

"When he's with you" Horace stole the bottle from his hands. “Haven't you noticed? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but it's clear that you two have something.”

"What?" His voice came out like a shrill whining. "I-It was only once. W-we have nothing. Lothar and I don’t”

"Maybe you should talk to him." Horace stuck his finger in the bruise of the bite.

"Why?" Khadgar covered his bruise instinctively. “Lothar already has enough problems. It’s silly.”

"But you care." Horace looked at him as if he was able to see each of his scars.

"But I shouldn't." Khadgar dropped down and hugged his own legs. He sank his head and hid it between his knees defeated. "It's just that sometimes it hurts" he noticed the tears wet his cheeks. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t cry.

"Hey, Khadgar." Horace sat next to him and put his arm over his shoulders. "It's normal, you're human. It hurts.”

Khadgar looked up and laughed in tears. His eyes must be red and the water was sliding down his nose. Without much hesitation, he used the sleeve of his robe to clean up the mess.

"You're a good friend." Horace was never going to understand how much he needed someone to tell him that. “I-I would have to renew the guards” Khadgar got up trying to put space between them “and I need to finish some things for Lothar.”

Horace got up behind him and followed him outside of the cave. Khadgar supposed it was because he had grown up as an older brother but the soldier had a gift to know when someone needed space and when they didn't.

"Khadgar, seriously." He said slapping him on the shoulder. "Talk to the Commander."

Finally in the company of his solitude, he took the rune out of his bag. The lines that maintained the bond active were broken. That stone was not going to summon more demons in a long time. The carving was rough and the fel made the stone weak. None of the books he had dragged with him to that corner of the world contained the information he needed and he was not going to be able to find out much more without access to the library in Karazhan.

He hated to recognize it, but perhaps what Horace said was true. He had already put off enough his conversation with Lothar. Khadgar put the rune back on his satchel and as the condemned who advances towards the gallows, he undertook the path that led to Hamlet. He took a deep breath before crossing to the other side of the barricades. He was not going to let the soldiers see how his mood sank beneath each furtive look. Khadgar could notice how the tension was increasing with each step.

"Khadgar!" Lothar raised his face and smiled as soon as he saw it. Lothar was smiling. It was a big smile that shone in his eyes.

"C-can we talk?" Khadgar felt the tremor in his hands. "Maybe in a quieter place" Khadgar looked around. Everyone looked at him as if at any moment he was going to attack Lothar.

The warrior got up and forgot about what was left of his dinner. Khadgar followed him to the old town hall. From what it looked like, it had to be the command center of Lothar. He could see a map of the Eastern Kingdoms on an old desk. The warrior's armor rested on a rickety chair while the Lion carved into the crossguard of his sword stared at him from a bookshelf.

"What have you found out?" Lothar leaned against the desk and crossed his arms. His hair was in a ponytail but some unruly strands framed his face. The warrior was dirty and looked tired and despite that Khadgar could only think how handsome the man was.

"N-not too much" Khadgar felt the blush on his cheeks. "Without access to Karazhan's library, it is difficult." Embarrassed he circled the table and entertained himself looking at the tiles scattered around different points of the map. At least it gave him an excuse not to look at the warrior. “It looks like the runes that the Kirin Tor gave us to practice. I’m not an expert in demonic summoning but a demon is not like an elemental. A rune can never control it effectively. You have to chain them to a fragment of the sorcerer's soul.

"And does that mean?" He noticed Lothar's gaze pinned to the back of his neck.

"That Gul’dan is not the only one capable of using the fel against us." He felt the air missing. "There are others like him. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help.”

"Why do you always do that?" Lothar seemed to be dissecting each of his gestures.

"Do what?" He looked up. "What are you talking about?"

"Despise you" the warrior interrupted him. “I was convinced that it was false modesty but you really believe it when you say it.”

"I don't despise myself." Khadgar couldn't help but get defensive. "There are more important things. When the survival of so many people depends”

“Are they so important that you decide to ignore being called a murderer? Monster? Treacherous rat? I've seen you face the demon that possessed Medivh! But you let my soldiers” Lothar’s voice broke and he had to stop for a moment before he could continue. "You let me treat you like you're worthless and I won't understand anything about magic but even I know that only something truly amazing would receive praise from Medivh. Taria spent months reminding me of how lucky we were to be able to count on you and Karos, the traitor” his voice failed for a moment when he mentioned his lieutenant “supported her every time. I don’t understand why would you do that.”

"Y-you said you were proud of me," Khadgar muttered staring at the floor.

"And I'm still proud of you." Lothar dragged him to his chest. The warrior's fingers were stroking his hair. Khadgar could hear the beating of the man’s heart.

The stress of the last days seemed to have reached the point of collapse. Tears gathered in his eyes. He hadn’t cried for years and two stupid soldiers were going to get him to do it.

"Shh," Lothar tried to reassure him "everything’s fine. Hey, everything’s fine.”

"I’m s-sorry" Khadgar sobbed between hiccups.

"No, Khadgar" the warrior's arms caught him in a hug. "I’m the one who’s sorry. I'm sorry I made you believe I didn't care about you.” Lothar kissed him on the temple. “Mourning doesn't give me the right to pay it with you. I’m so sorry.”

"It doesn’t matter" he murmured.

“Don’t! That's what I mean! It matters! Khadgar, look at me.” Lothar forced him to lift his head. “No one has the right to treat you like this. No one! Do you understand me?”

"You say it as if I had another option!" Khadgar rubbed his eyes with the sleeve of his robe to wipe away his tears. “Which one? Let you get drunk to be eaten by the crocodiles? I promised your sister”

"Stop using Taria as an excuse!" Lothar released him as if he had burned him. "You didn't sleep with me for anything you promised her!"

The silence wanted to crush him. Khadgar looked down unable to bear more contempt. He wanted to vomit. The words tasted like ash. He was so pathetic.

"You are the closest thing to a family I have" his voice trembled. "I d-don't want to lose it."


	12. Chapter 12

Anduin wandered the mage's hair with his fingers. The silence reigned between the four walls of the ruined town hall. Khadgar had fallen asleep in his lap but even in dreams the mage occasionally groaned and gave little spasms. It was too easy to forget that the mage was only a kid when he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Even Anduin had believed the impassive image that he sold to everyone. The world seemed to be crumbling around him. The conversation with Khadgar repeated in his head in an infinite loop. Gul’dan was already enough trouble, but even an inexperienced warlock could decimate an army. His relationship with the mage was another can of worms he didn’t want to look at.

"Sir!" A soldier ran into his little sanctuary. For a moment, the man seemed to be speechless at the image of the mage on Anduin's lap. Sweat slipped down his forehead and he barely had enough air to speak. When he finally reacted, he said “The Orcs... A platoon... from Stonard.”

"Order the troops to be prepared" Khadgar's weight didn’t let him get up.

"Yes, Sir!" The man withdrew with a greeting.

"Khadgar" Anduin shook the mage with no time for delicacies. "Khadgar, wake up."

Anduin could almost feel the sound of the mage's eyelids when he opened his eyes. They were still reddened. He seemed to be looking through the walls, his eyes unfocused. Chaos and screams began to multiply in the camp.

"If as you suspect there is a warlock" Anduin helped him up “I need you to find him.”

"O-of course" Khadgar accompanied the statement with a gesture "W-whatever you want."

"Help me" Anduin put part of his armor on the mage’s hands. "We don't have much time."

The soldiers on the barricades were nervous. They barely had arrows and the dwarf weapons were more likely to burst into their hands than to hit the enemy. One of the orcs came forward and with a shout he threw what appeared to be a human head. Everyone recognized the messenger they had sent to notify the Eastern Front. Anduin felt his insides freeze. He had to take the worst for granted. They were alone but he wasn't going to die there without taking a few of those bastards with him.

"At my command!" He shouted. Halberds collided with the ground, shields raised. The orcs ran towards the barricade. The ground seemed to shake under his feet. The air was tinged with a slight green glow.

"Monsters inside the barricade!" One of the soldiers shouted at the sight of the two demons that had appeared in the middle of the camp. They were like a macabre version of a dog and ran towards them. Their heads seemed to be just a large jaw full of pointed teeth. They had no eyes and it was as if the flesh had fallen, leaving only the bone in sight.

Khadgar's magic azure shone around the barricade. The mage cast on the other side of the mana shield, the arcane missiles dancing at the same pace as his fingers. One of the dogs jumped and managed to retain one of the missiles between his jaw. Khadgar lost his balance. Anduin cursed the shield that kept them apart. Khadgar was helpless without his magic.

The uproar of the orcs resounded in the swamp and two explosions of fire vanished into a sea of sparks as they hit the magic wall. The mage lost his balance. The dogs had not even approached him but a second later the barrier vanished around him.

"Khadgar!" Hayden came forward with his sword drawn and got in the way of the dogs. The two demons lurked around him while the boy tried to keep them away. “Khadgar! Get up!”

"M-my mana" Anduin saw the power sizzle in the mage's fingers for a moment to fade again.

Hayden dealt a new blow and hit the sides of one demon-dog. The blood was of an unhealthy green that withered the blades of grass when touched the ground. Anduin dealt another cut to the other dog, slicing his head in a clean cut. The dog collapsed and melted into a viscous mass.

The smoke began to form a thick fog in the camp and it was increasingly difficult to breathe. Some soldiers tried to extinguish the flames while others brandished their weapons to defend them. His men fell around him one after another. The culprits of the fires were green imps that ran around in hysterical laughter. The imps fell to tens but looked like they would never end. The orcs hit the barricade like a raging sea. It was impossible to know where they were attacking and it almost looked like a rain of axes and hammers.

"Lothar" Khadgar called him. Hayden was the only thing that kept him standing. “The warlock will be as far away as he can from the battle but magic has its limits. If he can summon demons in the middle of the camp my spells should be able to reach him.”

"What do you need?" Anduin asked knowing that killing that warlock was their only chance.

"I have to get closer" Khadgar said almost breathlessly "I need to see him."

"We cover you" Anduin let Khadgar use him for support too.

The warlock had stopped hiding. The cane clinging to his hand guided the discharges of fel that went through the ruins of Hamlet.

"The Lion of Azeroth deigns to appear at last" the warlock raised his staff and nailed it back to the ground. Around him, the runes of a new spell lit up on the ground. “Isn't it great that you are going to die in this damned corner of land while the Horde burns your precious city?”

"You talk too much!" Anduin shouted leaving Hayden in charge of Khadgar. The orcs stopped the attack when they saw him. It seemed that the leader wanted a one on one fight. “Do you think that by killing me you will get the favor of your master?”

He needed to give Khadgar time. It was the only opportunity for someone to get out of there alive. The runes disappeared in what seemed to be a hole into the abyss. The fingers of a crimson gauntlet clung to the ground, followed by a long, huge arm. What appeared to be a horn was followed by a monstrosity of Machiavellian eyes. Terror paralyzed him for a moment. It was as if all the heat and dampness of the swamp had disappeared. It was getting colder. The ax of the same color of blood fell down. The warrior managed to dodge it by a few inches. The warlock watched the demon chasing him and didn’t seem to pay attention to his surroundings.

Khadgar's voice rang like thunder in the middle of the night and a blizzard of snow and ice broke out. Snow accumulated on the barricade, extinguishing the flames that had begun to spread to the first rotten wooden houses.

The warlock realized too late what was happening. The air was charged with the tension Anduin had begun to associate with Khadgar’s magic. In an instant, where once was a warlock there was only a sheep left. The animal grazed alien to what was happening around it. Without his ability to conjure, Anduin was able to get close enough to the orc to impale him on his sword. The warrior rolled on the ground escaping the ax that still wanted to open his head. In a few seconds, the ax vanished along with the demon that wielded it.

The orcs roared furiously, their attention focused on the mage. Time seemed to have stopped. No matter how much he ran, he wasn’t going to make it on time. Khadgar shone like a lighthouse in the middle of the darkness. The azure radiated throughout his body and he almost looked like a heavenly apparition.

"Khadgar!" Anduin shouted desperately at the same time that the mage finished his spell. It was the same light that had blinded them completely after Karos died. Anduin couldn't help panicking. "Khadgar!" He was blindly advancing without knowing if the world had snatched away what mattered most to him.

“Horace! Horace, wake up!” The cry of pain from Khadgar tore him apart. "Horace. Horace!" Khadgar's face paled and his lip trembled. "Anduin..." he whispered. Khadgar never called him by his name “Anduin, Horace is...” Tears ran down his cheeks. It was as if their roles had been reversed.

“Khadgar, we can't do anything. Khadgar, listen to me.” Anduin forced the mage to look at him. “If what that crazy orc said is true, Taria and the children are in danger. I need you. Khadgar, please. We can do nothing more here.”

Khadgar took a deep breath and pulled a small stone from his bag without letting go of Hayden's body. Squeezing it tightly in his hands, he began to recite the spell. At that moment it was as if nothing else existed for the mage. His voice vibrated in the midst of silence and the dark tone of his eyes disappeared under the magic glow flowing through his body.


	13. Chapter 13

Anduin felt a bit of vertigo as he materialized in the middle of the Throne Room. The blows of the ram made the doors tremble in their jambs. The survivors had locked the doors with everything they had managed to find but weren’t going to endure much more. Varian and Adariall were crying hanging from their mother's skirts. Only a dozen guards were all that stood between the Horde and his family. They were like rats cornered with nowhere to run.

“Anduin!” Taria shouted hugging him tightly. Tears slid down her cheeks drawing strokes on her sooty skin.

"Lothar, I can open a portal to Lordaeron but I need you to earn me some time." Khadgar grabbed Hayden's body and didn't look like he was going to release it. The mage didn’t look good, his cheeks seemed to be burning and his eyes had a sickly glow. The apprehension gripped his stomach but he just nodded.

"You have heard the Guardian!" He was again the Lion of Azeroth commanding his Armies. “We have to defend that door at all costs.”

The guards stood around the door. The rumble of the battering ram rumbled throughout the Room. The first cracks began to break through the wood. Anduin was staring, knowing that the next blow could be the last. They didn't know how many enemies were waiting for them on the other side of the door. The guards looked at him with fear drawn on their faces. Surely none of them had seen an orc before that day. It was a good way to die. He was going to defend that door until his last breath if that meant Varian and Adariall were going to have a future. The ram stamped again against the door. The cracks ran through all the wood and the first splinters jumped. Their nerves were getting the better of them. The screams on the other side were deafening.

"Hold on!" It was like being in the swamp again, the orcs slashing without giving them quarter and the blood soaking their boots.

The first orcs crashed into the row of shields. The axes broke the formation. Anduin crossed his sword with the ax trying to crack his neck.

"Ready!" Khadgar shouted. "Run! Now! Run!”

Anduin was doomed. The steel began to crack at the strength of the ax. Time seemed to have stopped for a moment. Khadgar appeared at his side raising a barrier. The sword was split at the same moment in which the mage's spell dragged them a few yards away. Without letting him go, Khadgar pulled him shutting the portal behind them.

They were bloody, dirty and dead tired when they materialized in the middle of a square. Only a dozen had managed to escape from the ruins of Stormwind. The silver gray of Lordaeron's heraldic shields surrounded them completely. The guards swarmed over them with their swords drawn. Taria was the first to speak.

“I’m Taria Wrynn, Queen Regent of Stormwind. I request an audience with King Terenas Menethil of Lordaeron” She demanded with her head high showing the seal on her finger.

The guards sheathed the swords but kept watching them suspiciously. Anduin couldn't help remembering one of the conversations he had had with Khadgar a few days ago. They could have shouted at the four winds that a mage accompanied them and that would have been more discreet. Anduin hugged his nephews, not caring that he was covered in blood and dirt.

“Khadgar?” Anduin turned when he noticed that the mage didn’t follow him. "Khadgar!" He felt the stomach in his mouth when he saw Khadgar lying unconscious on the floor. He knelt beside him frightened. "Khadgar, wake up!" the mage was trembling. The cold sweat was slipping down his forehead but Khadgar was burning because of the fever. “Help! A healer!” He shouted desperately. It was like seeing Cally again in cold sweat because of the bleeding that was taking her away. "Please" he groaned desperately hugging the unconscious man. "Khadgar, don't do this to me... You can't... Not after all... Please…”

“Anduin, the healers won’t be able to do anything if you don’t let him go” He hadn’t even realized that Taria had approached him when she knelt beside him and slowly forced him to release the mage.

“Taria, I can't” Anduin hugged her trying to remember that he was not alone.

As Regent Queen, the conversations with King Terenas Menethil had been in charge of Taria but no matter what title she held, a Queen without a Kingdom had nothing to negotiate with. The fear of the enemy was too vague to grant them more than hospitality. Counting how much they had lost, Anduin was grateful for a bed to lie on and a hot plate on the table. Taria was an excellent administrator but she wasn’t a strategist. Anduin had seen the plea in her eyes many afternoons when she visited him and brought him up to date on state affairs. She needed him to forge an alliance with the rest of the Human Kingdoms. It was the only option if they didn’t want to perish to the might of the Horde.

Anduin knew that it was the only way to recover his city but no one was going to get him out of that room until he knew that his mage was out of danger. Khadgar had hovered fevers of up to forty degrees all week. It was difficult for the healers to keep him hydrated and in less dangerous temperatures. Anduin wasn’t able to remember how many times he had changed the cold cloths of his forehead. The glances of the healers froze his insides every time he read in them that they didn't trust the mage to pass that night. They didn’t know what afflicted the mage and Anduin had the slightest suspicion that they weren’t struggling to find it out either. The warrior wanted to scream. He couldn't do anything. Khadgar was first of all a mage and not even his title of Guardian had any weight in Lordaeron.

"How is he?" Taria sat next to him and took his hand. Anduin shook his head, unable to say what everyone thought. Khadgar was strong and was going to fight until his last breath. "You can't go on like this. You'll fall ill." Taria laid her hand on his cheek.

"Taria, I don't know what I'm going to do if he doesn't wake up" he murmured.

"Whatever happens, you're not alone." Taria leaned her head against his shoulder. "If you need anything, you know you can count on me."

"I can't lose him as I lost Cally." His hands were shaking.

“Anduin, what mess have you got yourself into this time?” His sister looked at him with pity “It's just a boy, you can't expect”

"I don't expect anything." He replied defensively.

The room fell silent again. Anduin could hear the birds chirping outside and the laughter of the children. He had the impression that the room was another world. At least that was a good afternoon. Khadgar was breathing calmly and his fever remained stable at around 38 degrees. Taria had fallen asleep on his shoulder and every time she breathed a small sigh. Anduin smiled when he saw that Khadgar had opened his eyes. Careful not to disturb Taria, he got up and walked over to the bed. It wasn’t the first time it happened and he didn’t expect the mage to say something.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty." Anduin stroked his face.

"Hey, Commander," Khadgar smiled, his eyes glazed with fever. "I think I overdid it."

"Maybe a little" Anduin laughed with tears in his eyes, "but you've saved us again."

"Then where is my prize?" A coughing attack interrupted his chuckle. “I-I'm not feeling too well.”

"Sleep for a while" Anduin knelt by the bed watching every little detail of the mage's face. Khadgar had fallen asleep again. Anduin traced his eyebrows with his fingers, drew his nose and got lost in his lips. Rising again, he kissed him on the temple. Maybe he could afford some hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The degrees are Celsius!


	14. Chapter 14

The healers were astonished. They couldn’t explain how Khadgar had gone from being on the verge of death to irritate everybody with his inability to stand still for two minutes in only a few hours. Anduin was sure it was Khadgar’s stubbornness.

"Really?" Anduin picked up the book on the nightstand in disbelief. “Military strategy in the Troll Wars?”

"It looked more interesting than Romulus and Julianne." Khadgar shrugged.

"You're a hazard." Anduin sat at the foot of the bed and sighed exhausted. It seemed that the fall of Stormwind scared King Terenas more than he wanted to recognize. “Taria has asked me to accompany her in the negotiations with the ambassadors.”

"Have they finally decided to take the threat of the fel seriously?" Khadgar growled. "Better late than never, I suppose."

Khadgar seemed lost looking beyond the window. It wasn’t the first time Anduin saw a certain melancholy on his face. He wasn't sure if there were something between the mage and Hayden but he was convinced that at that moment Khadgar had to be thinking about him.

"Oh! It’s market day" Khadgar smiled sadly.

From the window Anduin could see the square where they had appeared as soon as they crossed the portal. If he closed his eyes, Anduin could imagine he was still in Stormwind walking among the merchants' stalls.

"It's funny how memory works" Khadgar's voice barely reached a murmur. "I don't remember almost anything from my childhood but I know that as a kid I used to eat cinnamon rolls sitting at that fountain" the mage moved a little closer to the window and pointed out.

"Nothing prevents you from doing it again." Anduin frowned. "We can always go down. The fountain is still there.”

"Would you come with me?" Khadgar looked at him as if he had said something incomprehensible. "You don't even like sweets" he shook his head in disbelief.

"I'll have to try one, who knows?" Anduin got up from the bed and slapped him on the shoulder. "Wish me luck." He sighed as he remembered a long afternoon of political discussions was waiting for him.

The conversations had only begun half an hour ago, but Anduin was already tired of hearing discussions that led nowhere. It was too easy for negotiations with the High Elves to get complicated when the agreements of the Troll Wars were put on the table.

“Uncle Anduin” Varian came in the box reserved for Stormwind representatives, avoiding the two guards trying to catch him.

“Varian Wrynn” the look of his sister stopped any kind of reply from his nephew.

"I'll take care of it" Anduin whispered. The children were supposed to be with Khadgar. "What's up?" He asked as he left the hall and closed the door.

"Khadgar..." Varian hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I swear it's only been five minutes! B-but when we returned to the room he wasn’t there.”

"Don't worry" Anduin sighed. He didn't understand why he was surprised. He was starting to get tired of the mage's bad habit of disappearing at the most inappropriate moments. With a little luck he would be in the library stealing some books. Anduin walked through the corridors of the fortress with a vague idea of where he was going. He had been walking for more than ten minutes when he noticed the arcane power swirling in the air. It was still strange to be able to recognize when Khadgar was casting a spell even before seeing the cerulean glow of magic taking shape. Anduin ran the ten yards that separated him from the door of the library.

The mage's eyes shone like beacons. Anduin recognized the words of the teleportation spell.

"Khadgar!" He shouted, getting into the circle and taking him by the arm. The feeling of being dragged through nothingness stirred his stomach. "What are you doing?" Anduin growled in whispers and grabbed the mage by the neck of the robe dragging him behind the shattered throne without any delicacy.

Anduin looked around. Blood still stained the white marble slabs but the bodies were no longer there. "Have you gone crazy?" He whispered. There were footsteps going up from the central hall. Anduin peeked out from behind the broken columns. Two orcs argued by the shattered door. “Do you want to get killed?”

"Why did you stepped inside the teleportation circle in the middle of the enchantment?" Khadgar growled. "Do you know what could have happened?!"

"You tell me that having come alone to Stormwind!" Anduin shouted calling the attention of the two orcs. The brutes approached with their axes raised. On instinct he went to grab his sword but his fist clenched on thin air.

"Shala’ros!" the mage shouted out from behind their hiding place knocking down the two orcs. Anduin could hear footsteps coming from the Council Room.

"Khadgar" Anduin looked around for something that could serve as a weapon among the rubble. “What are you waiting for?” The leg of a chair was going to have to serve.

"I won’t leave without Horace's body" the mage ignored him, walking determinedly to the garden.

The orcs had felled most trees or burned them. Anduin couldn't help noticing the tremor in the mage's hands. At some point, the garden had become a pyre. The wood of the shelves had served to feed the fire. Khadgar walked slowly between calcined pages. Whole books had burned or were broken with its spines disengaged.

"This is crazy. Who do you think you're doing a favor?" Anduin took him by the arm trying to stop him. "If you want to honor his death, do it living."

"Like you?" Khadgar turned and stared at him before fading away to reappear yards away.

"I hate you doing that!" Anduin ran to catch up.

"Do what?" he went forward again using the same spell. "I can't hear you! You are too far away!”

It didn't take long to reach the stairs that went down to the barracks. From there, the Keep dominated the entire city. That had always been a beautiful sight. The white city surrounded to the east by the sea and to the west by the green of the forest. Dawn was a very special moment. The first rays of the morning were reflected on the walls making the city shine like a jewel. What he was seeing was a nightmare. It was impossible to describe what he had felt when he saw the soot-stained walls, the still smoky limestone, the sunken roofs of the houses and the deserted streets.

At his feet, the training square had become a mass grave in which the bodies were piled in the open. It had been a massacre. Flies buzzed everywhere and the sweet smell of rot filled the air completely while the worms fed on the bodies.

"There are children." Khadgar vomited, unable to bear the Dantesque image before them. “They haven’t had mercy even for children.”

"Khadgar, let's go back" he pleaded, helping him to get up and offering him his handkerchief.

“I just wanted to”

Anduin hugged him without losing sight of his surroundings. The last thing they needed was for the orcs to catch them unexpectedly.

"I know" he whispered, stroking his hair. "I know it's not the same but we can order a tombstone. Hold a funeral in his honor."

"I-I guess so" Khadgar muttered.

The world began to take that blue shade that Anduin was already only able to relate to the mage. The spell was a murmur in the midst of silence. Anduin noticed how the hair on his whole body bristled just a moment before disappearing. Anduin still noticed the smell of rot on the palate when he reappeared by the fountain. Khadgar was still clutching his back as if he were a life board. Anduin stood there for a long time, wrapping the mage with his arms no matter what anyone could think.


	15. Chapter 15

Khadgar just wanted to disappear but not even crumbling in Lothar's arms the murmurs left him alone. People passed by and stared at him with the same contempt that seemed to follow him everywhere. Khadgar noticed how the warrior pressed him against his chest. Lothar had to have realized how tension contracted Khadgar's shoulders and back muscles. He almost looked like a bear protecting his cub.

"Any problem?" Lothar shouted over his head. “There's nothing to see here.”

Khadgar hated that square. It was just a cobbled square, with a fountain with ornate decorations and some flower beds but for him it meant everything he wanted and he could never have. For days, he had seen all those people walking and laughing from his window. All those people hated him without even knowing him while Horace's body rotted in Stormwind.

"How can you stand it?" He asked, trying only to hear the warrior's heartbeat.

Lothar sat on the edge of the fountain and dragged him. He was too exhausted to resist. Even after the warrior's warning, people passed by and stared at them. Khadgar snuggled against Lothar and rested his head on his shoulder. He liked having him so close.

"You're aware of who you're asking that question, right?" Lothar sighed.

Khadgar shrugged and looked at him without bothering to lift his head. For a moment, Lothar seemed to have lost himself. They were silent for a long time before the warrior finally started talking.

“Almost every day I keep wondering why I keep fighting. No matter what I do, the world doesn't need me to keep turning. When I’d be gone there will be others.” Lothar covered his eyes with his hand. “They call me the Lion of Azeroth. I guess pride is what has allowed me to survive all this time. Right now, all I would like is to get drunk and forget everything. My city...” he groaned “I can’t close my eyes and see it as it was. I only see its burned walls and I wasn't even there to defend it. All because I decided to crawl to that quagmire. My soldiers trusted me. Now they are all dead and what for?”

"Anduin, look at me" Khadgar sat up. "That's not true. It's my fault.” He noticed his tears falling. “I left us defenseless. I should have known that they were going to be prepared to counter my magic and I trusted myself like an idiot.”

“What matters who is at fault? In the end it means the same. They're dead while we're still here.” Lothar squeezed his cheeks and let their foreheads touch each other. “But you know what makes me carry on? A mage shouted at me that I still have people who love me and continued to insist on reminding me every time I wanted to give up. He helps me endure it. Do you think he would let me do the same?”

"I suppose so" he wiped his tears with his robe sleeve.

"Wait for me." Lothar got up and kissed his temple before running out. “Don't move from there. Don’t even think about it.”

"Where do you expect me to go?" He shouted, looking at him without understanding anything.

The sun was beginning to set and fewer and fewer people remained in the square. The warrior did not take long to come back. Khadgar frowned when he saw what he was holding.

"I didn't know if you would want them hot." Lothar handed him a cinnamon roll sitting next to him.

"Did you buy me cinnamon rolls?" His eyes stung because he had been crying, but Khadgar couldn't help laughing.

“Should not? They’re too sweet.” Lothar sputtered at the first bite. “How can you eat something so sweet?

"They are not so sweet" he replied, just to oppose him. Khadgar stared at the sweets in his hands. Everything seemed so normal. He was convinced that he had never seen Lothar so relaxed. Khadgar would almost have dared to say he saw him happy. This was what he was fighting for, for the opportunity to have more moments like that.

"You know I can conjure them, right?" Khadgar took another satisfied bite of his roll.

"Why don't that surprise me?" Lothar raised his head and stared at the sky. "We'd better go back before Taria sends the cavalry to look for us."

He didn't know how many hours ago the sun had set, but he found it almost impossible to sleep. Lying in bed in the dark, Khadgar looked at the ceiling. It was strange for him not to notice the smell of wet ground around him or the horrible dampness sticking his robe on his back. He tried to focus on the sound of his breathing but every time he closed his eyes he saw the bodies of the children with flies fluttering around them. He just hoped someone else had managed to escape from that hell. Khadgar turned curling up with the sheets. The smell of soap was mixed up with the smell of bodies decomposing in the sun. Khadgar noticed his stomach turning.

He sat up sitting on the mattress. He felt the cold ground under the soles of his feet. He didn't know if he wanted to cry or scream. He missed his room in the Golden Keg. He missed his armchair and books. He missed Horace a lot.

Khadgar bent, resting his elbows on his knees. He didn't want to be alone with his thoughts. Slowly, Khadgar got out of bed and let his steps lead him to Lothar's room. He was barefoot. In the distance, he heard the footsteps of guards moving away. He must have looked awful when he finally approached the door praying for it to be open.

"Lothar" the door squeaked slightly. "Are you awake?" Khadgar didn’t dare cross the threshold.

The moonlight drew the chiaroscuro of the outline of Lothar lying on the bed with the sheets rolled between his legs covering nothing at all. The warrior sat up suddenly, grabbing a dagger that he seemed to keep under one of the pillows.

"Light!" He murmured, leaving the weapon on the bedside table. "Has something happened?"

Khadgar shook his head. Maybe he shouldn't have come but that same afternoon Lothar had made him laugh and with everything that went through his head maybe that was the most absurd.

"I-I didn't want to be alone" he hesitated.

"Come here." Lothar sat on the edge of the bed and offered the space between his arms.

"I still feel Horace's blood in my hands" he groaned, letting himself be wrapped in the hug. "It's like I'm still there."

"Sometimes having company helps." Lothar stroked his face.

Khadgar felt like a cat lacking affection, desperate for the caresses of his master. Lothar lay back on the bed, leaving room for him to follow. Khadgar snuggled against the warrior's chest trying to get as small as possible. Lothar's hands ran down his back and reminded him that he wasn’t alone. Khadgar blushed when he saw the curls in the warrior's chest through the sleeping shirt. His breath caught when he realized how many layers of clothes come between them. Lothar sat up. He should have noticed the change in the mage's breath.

"Are you all right?" He asked staring at him.

Khadgar noticed his cheeks burn at the scrutiny. Having the warrior so close always made his body decide to react without his permission.

"Yes" he whined, turning upside down on the bed and sinking his face into one of the pillows. The smell of the warrior pervaded it completely and only made things worse. "M-maybe I better go." Khadgar sat on the bed with his back to Lothar.

"What?" Lothar took him by the shoulder. "Why?" The warrior threw him back on the mattress, leaving him facing the ceiling. Khadgar noticed his cheeks burning. It was impossible that Lothar could ignore the erection in his pants. "It's nothing I haven't seen yet." The warrior released him, shaking his head in disbelief. "What do you think is going to happen? I won’t do anything”

"What if I wanted to?" He muttered without knowing what he was asking for. "It could help us both. Last time”

"Last time shouldn't have happened." Lothar cut him sharply. "I don't think you wanted to do it."

"I offered, didn't I?" He replied annoyed, sitting against the headboard of the bed. “Stop assuming that I can’t make decisions for myself.”

"Tell me just one moment when you had a good time." Lothar begged. "Only one."

Khadgar felt his heart falling at his feet. The memories of that night were bathed in too many painful memories. It had been a sad and empty fuck. He had nothing to answer.

"I-I don't regret it." Khadgar looked at his hands. But maybe Lothar had only wanted his bourbon bottle and pride had not let him back down. “You needed it and it was something I could do.”

"Sex shouldn't be something you can do." Lothar sat beside him sighing defeated. “It doesn't help me if you're not going to enjoy it with me. If you are going to hold stoic until I cum, I have a right hand that works perfectly.”

"But we can make it fun" Khadgar shrugged in himself, hugging his knees. “If you want. We don’t have”

Lothar knelt before him occupying his entire field of vision. The warrior's arms flanked him against the headboard of the bed. Khadgar felt his pulse sped up.

"We can do whatever you want." Lothar had his eyes fixed on his lips as if he wanted to devour them.

"W-whatever?" Khadgar looked at him with some apprehension. Lothar couldn't pretend to give him the reins if they wanted to get somewhere.

"Mouth or hands, what do you prefer?" Lothar tugged at Khadgar's trousers while still looking at him.

"I-I don't know?" After the conversation a moment ago, he wasn't sure how the warrior was going to react. "N-no... Just with you."

Lothar paled and whined like an injured animal. A shadow seemed to have settled in the room. The warrior hid his face on the mage's shoulder.

"Please Anduin," Khadgar hugged him trembling. "Don't regret that my first time was with you."

"I couldn't." Lothar kissed him at the corner of his lip. “I love you.”

Khadgar sobbed as if the mere idea was painful. No one had ever told him that they loved him, much less with the expression of devotion drawn on Lothar's face. It was the only thing he had ever wanted.

"I don't want to do anything that could harm you," Lothar said worriedly. "If you want me to stop, tell me." He carefully guided Khadgar's hands toward his abs. “Touch everything you want.”

Khadgar left his hands still in the same place where Lothar had left them, unable to decide what to do with them. Lothar was covering him with kisses and Khadgar closed his eyes losing himself in them while they were falling one after another in the jugular and down to the collarbone. He was hard again when the kisses reached his belly button and became small licks that descended to his belly.

He hadn't realized when Lothar had taken off his own pants, freeing his erection. Khadgar made a stifled groan and dropped against the warrior's chest when he felt a shiver of pleasure. When he opened his eyes he saw the warrior's hand masturbating them both. The sway of Lothar's hand was almost hypnotic. The warrior's moans seemed to go in chorus with his own. He could only make a plaintive groan when he finally came. Lothar did so some minutes later. It was his semen that dripped from the warrior's hand to his thigh leaving it sticky. He had trouble keeping his eyes open.

"It's been good, right?" He murmured. His arms and legs were heavy.

“It's been perfect. Sleep.” Lothar whispered after kissing his forehead. The mental exhaustion of the day was relegated to the background. With the sound of Lothar's heart in his ear, Khadgar fell asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Anduin had been awake for hours watching Khadgar's face when the first light of the morning began to sneak through the window. He liked having him there even if he had stolen all the sheets. He couldn’t resist the temptation to touch his parted lips. They were a sin and he couldn't help imagining losing himself in them. Khadgar whined still asleep and got tangled up even more in the sheets. Careful not to wake him, Anduin managed to free himself from the mage's embrace.

"I love you" Anduin was still naked when he sat next to Khadgar stroking his hair and kissed his temple before leaving the warmth of his bed for the rest of the day. It was comforting to be able to say those words without expectations, just a simple manifestation of the truth.

He had barely finished tying his boots when Taria knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for an answer.

"You're not going to leave me hanging on the negotiations today." Her sister was speechless when she saw Khadgar curled up in bed.

"Anduin!" Taria whispered indignantly. Anduin dragged her out of the room, closing the door behind her. The last thing he needed was to wake Khadgar because of a fight with his sister.

"I don't care what you think." Anduin growled without giving her a chance to judge what had happened the night before. “We’re adults.”

"If it makes you happy" Taria sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. “I should have known that something like that would end up happening.”

The negotiations lasted all morning and well into the early hours of the afternoon but nobody had come running saying that the mage had disappeared again, so he just hoped nothing had happened.

"Go." His sister looked at him in exasperation. “You don’t need to stay for the signing.”

Anduin kissed her on the cheek before running away. The mage wasn’t in his room, but Anduin could see him from the window sitting at the fountain in the market square with his nose stuck in a book. It seemed to have become his corner. Anduin went down the stairs three at a time and before he knew it, he was right there.

"Romulus and Julianne?" He read aloud startling the unsuspecting mage. "Really? I thought you didn't read fiction.”

"It’s one of the great romances of universal literature." The mage shrugged. "I thought it might be helpful."

“You know they end up committing suicide, don't you?”

"What?" Khadgar closed the book and put it in his bag. “Stupid plays.”

"And what was it supposed to teach you?" Anduin asked arching an eyebrow.

"I-I have a theory that I would like to confirm." Khadgar muttered, staring at the floor. “Yesterday, when you said that you loved me”

"I didn't tell you waiting for an answer." Anduin sat next to him at the edge of the fountain and put his hand on his thigh. “I thought you needed to know. It doesn't have to change anything.”

Khadgar raised his face and stared at him with a slight blush on his cheeks. Anduin couldn't help losing himself in his dark eyes full of life. Now that he had him between his sheets, he was unable to erase the image from his memory. He just wanted to have him naked in his bed, at the mercy of his lips moaning under his hands. He was lost in his memories of last night when he felt Khadgar's hands on his chest. The mage stared at him despite the shame. Anduin was convinced that he would melt at any moment if he continued to blush.

"Maybe some things can change." Khadgar brought his lips to those of the warrior, catching him off guard. Anduin couldn't help smiling. It had hardly been a slight touch but the simple fact that Khadgar had decided to do it meant the world.

"Maybe they can" Anduin replied, catching Khadgar's lips between his and losing himself in them.

The afternoon was sunny when they arrived in Deathknell. The cemetery was at the foot of two small hills where cypresses grew high. The usual rain of Tirisfal Glades kept the green fields well into the summer.

The slab Khadgar had chosen for Hayden's grave was simple. It was of a mottled pearl color with white and gray spots. He rested in a sunny corner of the cemetery where brightly colored flowers grew. Hayden was only twenty-one when he had died. Anduin couldn’t help but count it when he saw the dates carved in the stone. Without letting go of Khadgar's hand, they both approached the grave. Khadgar knelt down leaving some sweets at the foot of the tombstone.

“Thanks for taking care of Khadgar. It was an honor” Anduin greeted the grave with a military salute. "Do you want me to leave you two alone?" He asked the mage.

"Stay." Khadgar took him by the pants to hold him there with him. “Please.”

Anduin kissed his hair before sitting next to him. The leaves of the trees whispered as they rocked in the wind. Khadgar watched for a long time in the most absolute silence.

"I miss you." The mage sobbed. Sitting in front of the grave he could hear the birds' chirping and the crickets squeaking. Anduin couldn't help the irony of thinking how much life was around them. “I miss you so much. There are days that I think we got here all together and I still hope to see you laugh but you are not and it is not fair.” The mage tears fell cheeks down and were lost in the grass. “I didn't know if I was going to be able to come alone. Anduin has come with me, I hope you don't mind. Do you remember that you told me we should talk?” Khadgar looked like he was crying and laughing at the same time. “In the end we did and I suppose you'll be glad to know that you were right.” Khadgar took his hand tightly. "I still haven't told him that I love him, but I think he knows."

"I know." Anduin put his arms around Khadgar and kissed him on the temple.

They had sacrificed too much to get there but for the first time in a long time, Anduin had the impression that things were really changing for the better. It was strange to have hope again in the future but he was glad to have someone to share it with.


End file.
